Computer Literate?

I thought that I was quite good with computers until Saturday. How wrong could I be? Well, OK, I did literally blow up a computer a few years back, but now I know that the sliding switch at the back is actually to alter the power input and too much power makes the computer go bang!

On Saturday I took myself off to PC World, and after having wireless broadband in my house for about 1 year, I finally realised that you do not have to have a computer plugged into the main wireless box to get a wireless reception! I puzzled the poor bloke who was trying to help my predicament, but I am really grateful to him, because he saved us a lot of money. And here I was thinking that every shop only wants your money! My faith in PC World and shops in general has been restored.

The post with no name...

I can't believe it is now May. I am really slacking with this blogging thing. Since I last posted I have been on my weeks Corps placement to Brighton which was brilliant, been on holiday to St Ives which was a good break, and celebrated my 30th birthday. I am now officially no longer a youth in the eyes of The Salvation Army. Quite a scary thought!

I celebrated my birthday in style with me preaching at Wickford which is my Sunday meetings placement. For anyone interested I preached on the lessons learned from Mary's life and obedience to God. This was good to look into because it was prepared during Easter, and it brought it a whole new perspective to Easter for me. If Mary hadn't said yes to God 30 years beforehand she would never have had to face the agony of seeing her firstborn son dying on the cross. But if she hadn't said yes, God's plan for salvation may not have been fulfilled either. I wonder where my saying yes to God's calling will lead...

My Week.

Apologies for lack of blogs recently, I had loads of essays to write n that took all of my creative energy, so there was none left for my poor blog.

This week has been really good. In fact I might stick my neck out and say that it was the second best week of training so far. My best week was the week spent in a Salvation Army hostel in November in case you were wondering. Anyway, back to this week. We had a full week of what is called Reaching People. Basically this is where we all sit in a class room and talk about how to reach people! This week has been good, and I have learned loads. However, my problem was with two of the speakers this week. They spoke about how they 'do mission' in their corps. These two people concerned me because they both said that they both stopped all of the social programme at their corps because they felt that God was telling them to. For me, I can see that there is a real danger in doing this. It is so easy to arrive at a corps, not enjoy doing some of the things involved in the programme so close it down and say that God wanted you to stop it and He wants you to pray instead.

Well, I'm off to Brighton on my week long corps placement now, so no blogging for another week. Bramwell has peace and quiet!

Not Recommened Reading

I read blogs all the time about books that the people are reading and how much they recommend them to everyone. Well, I got a book out of the college library last weekend and I certainly do not recommend it to anyone! It was really boring and seemed really pointless to me. The name of the book was "Urban God". It had short studies on how certain Bible passages related to life in the Inner City. So if you happen to read the this book, don't say I didn't warn you about it! Have a nice day!!!!

D Day

Today was the day that all second year cadets got their appointments. So now they know where they will be living in 5 months. I am not sure if I like the idea of knowing so far in advance, but then I am lucky because I don't have to organise schools for children and so could literally know where I'm going the day before I move in.

I have to say that I was slightly upset during this mornings lecture. This lecture was taking place at the same time that the second years got their appointments. I was sad that they were leaving, and my comfort blanket of having these people that I knew around. Also, I was slightly jealous because I wasn't moving as well! I know, jealousy isn't good for a Cadet. And yes, I do love my life in Poplar, but I wanted to be a part of the excitement of the day.

Update

I haven't really had much happening in my life that I could blog about lately. College has been just College. I haven't had any flashes of inspiration that I could share with anyone. Although I wonder if Bram would disagree with that. When something has really got to me during a lecture, or inspired me I have shared it with him. So that is the reason I haven't blogged for a while. Oh the joys of having a mundane life!

When I first applied to go to college I didn't know what I was applying for. By that I mean that I didn't really know what being a Cadet was all about. I didn't really think about the college part of the application. My mind was fixed on the being an officer part and the College part of the application was pushed to the back of my mind.

I wouldn't consider myself to be academic, and certainly don't enjoy studying, but this is all part of the deal. I am enjoying my time in college and have made some really good friends there. There have been times when I have not understood why we have just been lectured on something, but I always try to look at the bigger picture. Once I do this, I come to realise why we have been taught something. We never know what is in the future, but trust that whatever it is will turn out ok in the end.

Echoes and Memories

This blog is not about Bramwell Booth (he wrote a book called Echoes and Memories which is used sometimes in college), it is about Rhonda Hayes! Tonight I have been a bit bored and found myself googling "Fraggle Rock". This was a kids TV programme when I was small. I used to avidly watch every episode of this programme. I went a school called 'Castle Rock', and we got called Fraggles because of this. Whilst Googling this, I came across another favourite programme from my programme. This was "Button Moon". I surprised myself when talking about Button Moon, because 20 years later I can remember the theme tune, and could remember Characters names, and what happened in the story!

This has now got me thinking about what a good tool memory is. We are able to remember necessary things, and also useless things. We remember all the time. Our Creator God is totally amazing. He has made us all perfect, and also unique. I also know that people have bad memories of things, but we are also given the tools to deal with this in whatever way is best for us.

The Mocked Prophet.

The Bible makes me laugh sometimes. I’m not sure if I should really be laughing at God’s holy word, but this story really made me laugh. It’s in 2 Kings 2:23-25. “Elisha left Jericho and went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, a group of boys from the town began mocking and making fun of him. “Go away, baldy!” they chanted. “Go away, baldy!” Elisha turned around and looked at them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of them. From there Elisha went to Mount Carmel and finally returned to Samaria.” It’s really good having such an extensive range of books at the library at the Training College. We have a lot of bible commentaries, and after reading a few of these say that this story illustrates that you shouldn’t mock God’s prophets. This reminds me of when I worked in a supermarket before I got married. Sometimes people would ridicule me. Not for my beliefs or anything, but as a joke. I used to laugh along with them but never cursed them as Elisha did, but something bad would always happen to them after they had ridiculed me! Am I a prophet???

Bible Revelation

I have grown up with parents who were (and still are) members of The Salvation army. I start with this comment because I am going to inflict you with my latest revelation. And also because it is less boring than starting with my next sentence.

I went to the British Museum on Saturday. I don't know much about this museum except that it is in London and is free entry. But beware of the coffee shop which is VERY expensive! Anyway, back to the revelation of mine. In the British museum there is an exhibition on Egypt and artifacts gathered from the palaces there. Within this collection there is actual stone decoration taken from the palace of Sennacherib. This man has a mention in the Bible in 2 Kings 17 (I looked this up this afternoon when I should have been listening to a sermon in college). The revelation is this, that the Bible is not just a manual for living, it is also a history book! It talks about people and events that can actually be proven to have happened.

This revelation might not be that exciting to most other people, but I am blown away by this. I was brought up to believe that the Bible was a guide book for living. I had never been told that stories and events could be proven. I was happy in my blind faith. I was happy to believe in the truths behind the stories. I am still finding it difficult to actually picture Jesus as a real man, even though I believe that he was, but I am working on this.

Life Goes On

Christmas this year has been interesting. I did some carroling on Oxford Street in London for the Training College, and also helped out Poplar Corps with carols at Canary Wharf and our local market. Christmas isn't Christmas with playing carols in a small band!

My thoughts have been centred around the less peaceful images of Christmas. Because Jesus was born (and Herod didn't want Him), a whole generation of babies were murdered in the hope that Herod had got the right baby. Another of these images in my mind is of Mary, the unmarried mother of the Christ child. Because of her obedience to God she became an outcast in society. Some sources even state that she ran the risk of being stoned to death because of being an unmarried mother. Why did God choose her if He knew that she would be put in such a position? It may be her willingness to obey God. Also, Prophecies state that the Messiah would be born of a Virgin.

And now onto the nice things about Christmas! Christmas day was spent at the Army doing all kinds of things. I totally loved the day. We had around 100 (or so Bram said) people. We ran out of tables in the main hall and so had to set one up in the lounge. I had loads of good, positive conversations with only one moan. Although my moan is that I was called "Major"! I'm not even out of College yet!

Then Boxing Day I went to my brothers house and spent some time with him, his wife, and my niece. I loved singing to her and making her smile.

The day after Bram and I went shopping with my Dad in Coalville town centre. It just seemed so surreal. It was like people had forgotten that Christmas had only been 2 days ago. Life went on as normal for them. Has Christmas changed me? In some ways it has, but I am being changed every day into what God wants me to be.

Childhood Memories

As I was driving home yesterday, out of nowhere I started to sing a song that we sang in the Singing Company (a childrens choir in The Salvation Army). This happens quite often that a song just pops into my head for no apparent reason. But yesterday this made quite an impact on me because I started thinking about whether the others who sang with me have this happen to them. Am I just thinking of them because of what I am doing with my life, or if I had left The Salvation Army, and God if I would still be singing these songs?

Stranger Than Fiction

I have been to the pictures again! It is getting to be a regular event. I go to the cinema once a year, and it is always around Christmas time. Last years film was Chronicles of Narnia, and this years film is Stranger Than Fiction.

The film was good, but I laughed at the wrong moment! Towards the end the main character gets hit by a bus, and I admit that I found this quite funny. This is what the Cinema says about the film "Harold Crick is IRS Agent whose world is turned upside-down when he begins to hear his life being chronicled by a narrator only he can hear. The Narrator, Kay Eiffel, an author of tragic novels, is struggling to complete her latest and best book, unaware that her protagonist is alive and uncontrollably guided by her words. Fiction and reality collide when the bewildered and hilariously resistant Harold hears the Narrator say that events have been set in motion that will lead to his imminent death."

This had resonances of the Easter story for me. Jesus knew that He ha dto die in order for the story of Salvation to be fulfilled, and didn't want to. And Harold Crick knew that he had to die in order for the story to be good.

The Final Countdown.

We were reminded yesterday in church that Christmas is coming very quickly and we need to be prepared for everything that Christmas brings. When it comes to Christmas I sometimes wish that I was still a small child, because all I had to worry bout was what Santa would bring me. As an adult I have lots more preparations that need to be done. But Christmas here in Poplar is so rewarding. We have a meal for around 80 people at the Corps. They mainly seem to be enjoying themselves, and we have lots of happy memories to keep us going for another year. I say that they seem to be enjoying themselves because they do moan quite a bit. But that's all part of a 'family' Christmas.

Happy Christmas everyone :-)

Funny sayings

This week I had a conversation with someone from my year at college and he said quite innocently "isn't it funny how you look everywhere for something and it's always in the last box you look in". This comment really made me laugh because it's obviously going to be in the last place you look. You wouldn't need to look anywhere else when you have found it!

Congress Report

I have come back from The Salvation Army territorial congress held in Harrogate, Yorkshire. It was really good to be among old friends and fellow Salvationists. I was touched (or affected) by two things. They were 1. The testimony of the man who is reaching out to the people of Harrogate. He goes out every Friday evening reaching out to the clubbers, speaking to them and being Jesus to them. I am always saddened by reports of another Corps closing, and this man is restarting the work here, so my prayers are with him as he does this difficult work. The second thing was the buzz of fellowship before the meetings started.

The Territorial Commanders were their usual passionate selfs. It is really good that we have such passionate people in charge of our territory, and every time I hear them they inspire me. It is just what this territory needs, a bit of fire in their belly! As the song says "give us faith O Lord we pray, faith for greater things" Bring it on Lord!

I Thought I did But I Don't.

I have discovered recently that it isn't until you actually start seriously studying a subject that you find out how much you don't know!

There's a Time and a Place.

Last Saturday we had the welcome meeting for the best session ever. They are called God's Fellow Workers. I sat on front row on the platform, and was very aware that I was highly visible. This was ok, until it came to the appeal time, where they have a quiet time to give people opportunity to commit themselves to God in prayer. It was all very solemn, but I had a fit of giggles at this time. This was because we were singing a song called They Need Christ. I had been singing this song at home a few weeks earlier, and Bramwell revealed to me that a line in the third verse that says "there's a Skid row fella who won't look at you", he thought it was "there's a Skid Row fella who has lost their shoe". I had found this extremely funny when Bram had told me. And so, here I was remembering this. I was also trying not to look at Bram because he was giggling as well.

What's New.

I have been at the Training College for 2 weeks now, and just wanted to let you know 3 new things about me.

1. I have joined the Gym. I have realised that College is all about sitting around a lot, so have decided to get myself fit again! I hope to go there twice a week, and so will let you know my progress there.

2. I now know where the College library is. I have decided to try to read 1 book a week, and to save money, I will try to get them all out of the library.

3. I am not very good at following maps. I drive into College every day. One day, full of confidence I decided to try out a new route that had a few shortcuts in. Well, it took me twice as long as it would have done if I had gone the usual way.

4. The early bird always misses the traffic. I leave home at the same time every morning, and arrive at College within half an hour. If I leave home 10 minutes later it takes me 1 hour to get there.

5. I can't count. I said that I would only write about 3 things!

My Part In History

I have been really into Salvation Army history this past few days. I think that this started because I am the historical site of the Training College. As I mentioned in my last post I touched the wall of my room at the college and thought about the Cadets who had been in there before me. Today, as I walked up the stairs to my room I allowed my hand to touch the railings of the stairs as I walked up them, and thought again of my predecessors. For some reason I have just started using my touch to help me to think about such things.

Yesterday I went to William Booth's grave in Abney Park cemetery. The picture here is of the grave. I got it from www.salvationarmy.org.uk. As I stood looking at this grave, I kind of had a strange feeling inside of me. Here was the grave of an ordinary man, but it was because of him and his obedience to God's leading that I have found myself in the Training College. I know that William Booth was not perfect, but then neither am I. We are just ordinary people. I wonder where my obedience will lead me.

Quick update.

I wanted to give everyone an update of what has been happening for me this week so here goes. I started college yesterday and two days into the course I am still a Cadet, so that's a good sign! (I think) Today I had to ask Bram what day it was because I was just so confused, and thought it was Wednesday. I guess I'll be able to work out what day it is when the timetable settles into a routine.

I stayed over at the college yesterday and woke up this morning, touched the wall of my room and thought about the other 100 or so Cadets that had used my room before me, and wondered what had become of them. I also thanked God that I have been given the great privilege of following in their footsteps into Officership. It is a great privilege, but also a great responsibility. I pray that I will be faithful in bringing God's word to the hurting, oppressed, and indeed all of mankind.

Ok, the picture is of the old Training Garrison, not the present William Booth College, but I haven't seen any I like of William Booth College.

Last Day Of Freedom.

Today has been my last day of freedom. Tomorrow I move some of my things into the William Booth College. My life will never be the same again. I'm excited and just want to get things moving! I think the worst thing at the minute is not knowing what is going to be happening for the rest of the week. I like to know in advance where I am and what I'm supposed to be doing. The studying will be pretty difficult as well.

So my last day of freedom has been spent washing and ironing and collecting money for The Salvation Army Annual Appeal. I can't think of a more boring day!

I'm back!

I haven't posted for a while because I have been on holiday with my parents. We went to Butlins in Bognor Regis. The Salvation Army provided entertainment every day for a week. I had an excellent time and had lots of confirmations that I am in the right place at the right time doing the right thing.

One of the things I loved about my holiday was playing in the New Horizons band. This band consisted of people from all over the UK who belong to the Salvation Army and can play brass instruments. I just love being a part of the worldwide Salvation army and doing crazy, weird Salvation Army things! Fire a volley!!!!!!

2 days left.

As I write this I am really excited! I have 2 days left of employment. I really can't believe that the time has finally arrived for me to finish work. I start College 2 weeks today! The time has really gone quick, and although I do love my job, I can't wait to go to College and be a part of the best session ever!

I feel that my recent posts have had a touch of negativity about them, because I have been going on about being nervous a lot, but this last few weeks have been good really.

Yesterday

Well, that’s it, I’m officially………. Well actually I don’t know what I am. I’m either a Candidate or a Cadet. I tried to work it out during the meeting yesterday but couldn’t because I was referred to as both Candidate and Cadet! So if anyone knows what I am, please let me know.

So back to the meeting. I started off by marching in behind the Poplar Corps flag which I have never done before. When I entered the hall, I heard lot’s of cheers going up which kind of put me at ease. It made me realise that lot’s of people were there to support me, and also made me smile because I was slightly embarrassed. So I marched up onto the platform at Regent Hall Salvation Army and sat down. At this point I looked around and saw what must have been about 200 people. Now I really got nervous. I was just getting used to preaching to 50 people and I was going to have to give my testimony to all of these people. I was so nervous I kept forgetting the words to well known songs.

Just before it was time for my testimony the kids sang and basically stole the show! Now the pressure was on for me to live up to what the kids had done. Anyway, the Territorial Commander stood up afterwards and said that it was now my turn to speak. I was really nervous, but once I started talking it was like I was talking to myself. It might have been because of the size of Regent Hall, but I really wasn’t aware of anyone reactions to my testimony. I sat down when I had finished and was relieved because my bit was over and I could now relax.

The whole meeting just felt so surreal, like I wasn’t really there, or I was living someone else’s life. I have waited 6 years for this moment. I think I’m still in a state of shock that The Salvation Army have put their trust in me as an Officer. I really want to thank Kate and Gordon for all the help and support they have given me over the past 2 and a half years and the advise and encouragement they have given me over this time for my preperation towards officership. I also want to thank my previous Officer Major Cynthia Clay for her support and encouragement for the 4 years that she was my support Officer at Coalville Corps. Most of all, I want to thank God for His help, strength and promises to me. I hope that I can be a worthy officer and do my part well in the salvation of the world.

Keep on Believng.

I have been thinking about my not liking leading meetings this week, and this song from the Salvation Army song book came to my mind. it's song number 773.

1.
When you feel weakest, dangers surround,
Subtle temptations, troubles abound,
Nothing seems hopeful, nothing seems glad,
All is despairing, everything sad:

Chorus

Keep on believing, Jesus is near;
Keep on believing, there's nothing to fear;
Keep on believing, this is the way;
Faith in the night as well as the day.

2.
If all were easy, if all were bright,
Where would the cross be, and where the fight?
But in the hardness, God gives to you
Chances of proving that you are true.

3.
God is your wisdom, God is your might,
God's ever near you, guiding aright;
He understands you, knows all you need;
Trusting in him you'll surely succeed.

4.
Let us press on then, never despair,
Live above feeling, victory's there;
Jesus can keep us so near to him
That nevermore our faith shall grow dim.

Lucy Milward Booth-Hellberg (1868-1953)

I have claimed those words for myself recently. If everything was easy, I might not rely on God so much. I think that these words will be especially relevant to me for the next couple of years whilst I am in college. I know that I will struggle academically, but I always have done. I am more a practical hands on kind of person. My brother gor all the brains in my family. He's an accountant, but he is him, and I am me.

An invitation for a coffee

I was just about to close the gate at the hall last week when I met one of our 'regulars' recipents of food parcels. I was saying earlier that day that I hadn't seen this man for ages. In fact, this man hadn't been in for quite a few months and I wondered whether he had been put off from coming in because he had been refused a food parcel after complaining to us that he had only recieved a few tins of food from one of the local churches.

I discovered the real reason why we hadn't seen him for so long and that was because he had been seriously ill with a brain tumour. He was very eager to introduce me to his nephew, and introduced me as "Rhonda, my friend"! He then quickly invited me round to his flat for a coffee. I wonder whether this man is desperate for friendship, and so anyone who is nice to him at anytime becomes his friend. I wonder if Bram would go round to his flat to see him, he's used to alcoholics.

Update

God is good! I led the meeting this morning nerve free, and people responded well when invited to. Although on the walk back from Greig House after the meeting I realised that I had to preached a sermon for myself!

Answer to my Problem

I have been thinking today about what I said yesterday on here about not liking to lead meetings here. I think this is because for the last 2 years we have had some really good meetings, and I don't think that I can match these high standards set by Gordon, Kate, and the other meeting leaders that we have had here. All that I can do is remember that I am not Gordon, or Kate, or any of the others. I am Rhonda Hayes. I am the person required for tomorrow. Please think of me. Oh, and thanks Roz for the image that will definitely stick in my mind about a naked congregation! AAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

How Far Can I See part 2

it's official, I only have 2 weeks left of employment. after that, I will never be employed again. It seems strange thinking about that. In 3 weeks, I will enter the Salvation Army Training College as a Cadet of the God's Fellow Workers session. At the minute, this is only as far into the future that I can see. It makes a change for me to know what I'm doing in 3 weeks time!

For today and tomorrow, my attention is on Sunday. I am leading the meeting here at Poplar Corps, and luckily for me it is a Bank Holiday weekend so there won't be that many people at the meeting. I'm not too keen on leading meetings here, I don't know why, I just prefer leading them at my home corps. I think at my home corps, I don't feel like people listen to me as much as they do here.

The reason that I gave this entry the title that I have done, is because I am working the title through in my thoughts in relation to my testimony that I have to give a week on Sunday at my divisional farewell.

How Far Can I See?

I have just been away on holiday to my Mum In Law's in Cornwall. We had a great time, and walked loads as we always do when we go on holiday. It was good to get away from it all, although it seemed that the whole of the UK was in Cornwall because it was so crowded. I liked to stand by the sea and look out to the horizon. My favourite question on holiday was "how far can we see?" When we stood by the sea the answer was about 13 miles. This didn't really impress me because I knew that if I was able to drive my car across the sea (which I know I obviously can't!) I would be able to reach the 13 miles in about half an hour. Whenever I came to a spot where I could see for miles and miles I would ask the same question, and usually get about the same answer.

As I looked towards the horizon, I realised exactly how insignificant I really am. I remembered the Psalm from the Bible that says "What is man that you are mindful of him?" It's funny how I felt so insignificant among the countryside. I pass by lots and lots of people every day here in London, and the thought has never crossed my mind, but suddenly, when faced with a vast expanse of countryside I realise how insignificant I really am. I really felt humble and thanked God every day for loving me even though I am only one person in this vast creation of His.

Significance of today.

Today has been rather significant for me for 2 reasons. The first is that today was the last day that I will be working with 5 - 9 year olds in the Paradise Zone context. The second is that today my marching orders for College arrived today, so it is all official, I have a room and eppaulettes!

So a big thank you to Roz, Emma, Keeley, Thomas, Sarah, Craig, Josh, and any others that I have forgotten to mention for making me feel welcome and needed in club, and for all your patience with me over the past 2 years!

Who? What? Where? When?

My head is spinning tonight. I arrived back to the hall from a trip with Kids club to a place called Discover in stratford, and was greeted with lots of noise. I had lots of people from the luncheon club wanting to talk to me. Oh the joys of being popular! Patrick was walking around banging the bottom of a bin like it was drum, and one of the luncheon club members "playing" the piano practicing for Christmas Day. (This lady always plays a tune on the piano as part of the after dinner entertainments.)

There are times at Poplar where it is quiet, and there are also times like today when it can get very noisy. It's good that we have a mixture of both. I also love the fact that there is a place for everyone at Poplar Salvation Army whether they are quiet, or noisy.

Amongst all this chaos my head is spinning. I have 1 month and a week left working here. I have lots of uncertainties going around my head. I wonder whether I will cope at college. I hope that I will never forget lessons that I have learned whilst working for the Corps. I am sure that I will never forget the people. Deep down I don't want to leave, but I know that it is the right time to go to college.

I hope that this post is not too confusing for you. Maybe it would have been better if I had posted it after my mind had settled down.

My Week.

I know a lot of people start their blog entries that occur more than a week after the previous entry with "I've had a busy week". This is why I put that long sentence in to start mine today! "It has been a busy week for me". I have been helping with junior club holiday club. It has been really good, and the time spent took me back to when I was a Childcare worker and also to when I ran JAM Club. Saying this I have really missed my usual daily chats with people who come into the Coffee Shop and Luncheon Club. In some ways this has helped me to realise what kind of work I feel that I most enjoy within the Corps. I enjoy working with Kids, but I also enjoy working with adults.

Panic's Over.

What a nightmare Mid week Worship turned out to be. Bram was supposed to be leading it, but rang me at the hall to say that he wouldn't be able to make it over to the Hall. I then went into panic mode, wondering whether I would be able to find something in my head that I could do. Then I had a great idea! I rang my CO who said that he would be over straight away to lead it. I knew that Gordon would be able to save the day!

Being overprotective.

We were just about to lock up and go home from the Hall when a young woman walked in eating Chicken and Chips. She asked for a food parcel, and so I went into the kitchen and put a few tins of food into a plastic bag for her. I don't like asking people why they want a food parcel, because I know that I would find it hard enough to ask a stranger for food without having to tell them what I had done with my money that had put me into this situation. I grudgingly gave her the bag of food, and off she went. The reason that I grudgingly gave her food was because I had a problem with asking for food (which is intended for people who don't have any food) when the person is eating. She came back 2 days later and bought herself breakfast, telling the kitchen staff that she hadn't eaten for 2 days. I am glad that I did give her what little we had because I don't know what her home situation is.

Even though I am very protective of my food stash in the cupboard that I keep for food parcels, whilst there is food in the cupboard for this purpose, I would never turn anyone away without some food because I would hate to find out that I had turned someone away who really didn't have anything.

Saying Goodbye.

I had a great day today at the Army. We said goodbye to the Cotterills, and Bram played along with everything that I suggested to him! I missed out on the meeting which was the main farewell because of problems with Greig House clients, so my highlights have to be times after the meeting. I am going to admit something now that I would get into trouble for saying at the corps. I love The Salvation and all it's little quirks, like marching in time, and anything that involves the Army flag! There, I've said it. I can say it now, because I won't be seeing the Cotterills again until September. (Oh dear! They will be my Spiritual Programme Directors. I'd better be careful or they will give me all the nasty jobs in college)

The reason I admitted that was because I encouraged Bram to use the Corps flag on two occasions today. The children were waving little brightly coloured flags and so I got Bram to wave the big Corps flag. I got spotted telling him to do it! Hmm, I need to be a bit more subtle next time. The next was a guard of honour for the Cotterill family with Bram holding the flag, Me, and our Cadets on placement saluting them out. It was Brilliant! I hope I get saluted out on the morning of my divisional farewell because the next time I go into the hall after the farewell I will be a Cadet!

Anyway, it was a great day, and I really hope that the Corps will give the new CO a chance to fit in with us. God has a perfect plan for Poplar Salvation Army, even though we won't always agree with Him. Something else I need to add is that although I do love The Salvation Army, the only reason that I am a member of it is because of my love my for God and the desire to do His will, which I believe for me is to be a part of The Salvation Army.

Road safety

At the minute there is a road safety advert on the TV about keeping to speed limits. This advert is so obviously meant to shock people. It shows a child of about 7 apparently lying dead at the side of the road. She is pale and has blood coming out of her ear. This always makes me feel really ill when it comes on. My brother was killed on the road about 28 years ago. From what I have been told, the woman who knocked him down wasn't speeding, Robert came out of nowhere and she didn't stand a chance of missing him. I agree that something needs to be done about speeding drivers, but wonder if showing this advert will help. I just think that it will upset people who have had a loved one die on the road because it will bring the memories back.

Whilst I'm in the mood for this rant, another thing that annoys me on the road is signs to tell you how many people have died on the road in accidents in a year. I drove to Skegness last Monday from my parents home and there is a stretch of road there that has these signs almost every 100 metres. Surely the money spent on these signs would be better spent on less distracting ways of keeping speed limits. I don't think speed camera's really work because people slow down at the camera then speed up again once the camera has been passed.

My Testimony

On Sunday, the afternoon meeting was centered around seeking God's will. This got me remembering the time prior to me offering for Officership. I was having quite a challenging time, and was seeking God's will for my life. During a Youth Councils in Leeds, I kind of felt God challenging me. They showed a Candidates video that I thought the people that were in it were looking at me. Then during the time of appeal where people go forward to receive God, or His help, or prayer I went forward. I explained to the person that came to pray with me that I wanted to do anything that God wanted me to do. The person said something that has stuck with me throughout. They told me to test the waters. I kind of knew at this point that God wanted me to be an officer. On the Monday, I rang my DHQ to ask for information and the person who looks after new Candidates, wanted to meet me for a chat. It all went from there really. Praise God it did!

The trouble with Multimedia Projectors.

I led prayers at the local hostel recently. The meeting went well, but I wanted to use the Multimedia projector to show a clip of the film Bruce Almighty. Trouble is, I couldn't get the projector to recognise the lap top. Give me an old fashioned TV and Video anyday! I had to laugh the incident off, and explain what the clip would have shown.

Candidates Update

It's all go at the minute on the Candidates front. I've got my fundraising event on Saturday, which is a table top sale, then my final interview at DHQ on Monday. (Hallelujah!!!!) I have also been asked to submit a 5o word testimony that will appear in The Salvationist. How do you sum up 6 years of applications in 50 words???? I think it will go along the lines of as God calls so he equips which has been my main experience in the process.

Thoughts on College

My thoughts have been centering around college this week. I was asked twice at the beginning of this week if I am looking forward to college. My reply both times was no. I am not looking forward to having to sit in lessons and write essays for the next two years. I have never studied at the level expected from college, and so this is what is scaring me. However, I am doing a correspondence course with the distance learning department at college and the lady who is marking my work is an ex college tutor. Her comments on my last piece of work say that my work is just about good enough for college! So I won't have too much trouble with this. What I am looking forward to about college is the greater opportunities that will be presented to me because of it. Like placements, etc. This will be good (I think). after all, I am a hands on person. I love my job at Poplar Corps. I get to speak to so many different people. My CO's at the minute have been apointed to the college as Spiritual Programme Directors so at least I will know someone.

ALL There Is of Me

I was walking down the road this week thinking of how different Poplar is from my home town. I was wishing I was back home in the midlands. Then when I got back to my house, I put a CD on. A song started playing. The words of the Chorus are

All there is of me, Lord,
All there is of me,
Time and talents,
day by day,
All I bring to thee;
All there is of me, Lord,
All there is of me,
On thine altar here I lay
All there is of me.

I realised why I am here. This is where God wants me. I am actually happy here, in case anyone thinks differently. But it was just a time that I needed to give my all to God. And since this moment, I have found it easier to sit and study. I've even found it easier to find time to read. I have rediscovered that my life is all about God.

Folkestone

Today we went on an adventure to Folkestone. We had never been here before, but because it is bank holiday here in England I decided to go out for the day. I got the map out, saw that Folkestone wasn't too far away and so it was decided.

Because I had no preconceptions of what Folkestone would be like I wasn't disapointed. What I saw was a town with two sides. There is the old side, which has run down buildings, disused fairground rides, and a harbour. Where, by the way, you can buy some nice fresh fish. Then there is the new side of town. This is not as new and posh as the Canary Wharf side of Poplar, but nevertheless, is quite asthetically acceptable. It has some nice shops. The downside for me was that there were area's where it smelled like people had used the walls and pavements as toilets. Also, as someone who had never been there before, I needed to see the road signs. I couldn't see them clearly because the tree's needed a good trim!

Bram got all excited because Folkestone is where the Salvation Army musical Glory is based. So he was able to see first hand the area's that Glory tells of. I admit that I was a little bit interested as well, but didn't let on. Today we seemed to be more interested in the SA history in Folkestone. We pass the site of the first SA hostel weekly. (Bram passes it everyday) We are members of the oldest existing Corps in the world, and both enter the hall almost daily. I guess the excitement of this has worn off now after 2 years of being here. For me now, the excitement is that we average around 50 worshippers on Sunday mornings. God has been good. I was given the opportunity to lead worship yesterday for these 50 people. I pray that I didn't let God down. We can look back, but it is equally as important to look around now, and look forward to the future.

Sound Advice

I was at our divisional International Praise event on Saturday. The speaker invited an Officer from Nigeria to come and tell of his experiences in Nigeria. This officer has commenced around 50 corps in Nigeria. Most of the corps that he started were in area's that have got a big Muslim population. He told us that in each area, he identified a need, which was that a school was needed. So he set up schools. This led to him being able to commence churches. The Speaker invited the man to tell us what the key is to working in these communities. All the Officer said was that it is about relationships. During my time here I have noticed that building relationships is at the heart of our church. I realised today that I have created some good relationships with breakfast club people. I pray that because of our example to these people they will come to know Jesus, the reason for our work.

My Week

I apologise for my lack of blogging this week. It has been a boring week really with not much happening, only college preperations. I guess my time between now and September will be filled with that. It's a small price to pay for a lifetime of service.

My car has got a flat tyre, and I only got it last November. I can't remember driving up any kerbs or anything. Good job I've got a spare whhel in the boot. Only problem is that I don't know how to fit one, and it's rained everytime I've thought about changing the wheel!

Sorry, but that is the most interesting thing I can come up with for now. Oh yeah, my brother's wife was due to give birth a week last Friday and the baby still hasn't arrived. I wonder if it is scared of the prospect of having Bram and myself as Uncle and Aunty!

Thanks to whatcar.com for the lovely pic of a Perodua Kelisa. I own one of these, and it is my pride and joy!

Fundraising

I received some information regarding my going into College in September. I have got a set amount of money that I need to raise. I am going to be trying to sell some items on e-bay to help raise funds. I have never sold anything on this site before, and hope that I don't need to sell too much stuff to get the specified amount, but that is just me being lazy!

I'm not worried about this, because God has provided financially in the past, and I know that He will do it again. More updates on the items being sold as they go on sale.

He's One Of Us

I had an interesting conversation on the way to church this morning with one of the clients from the detox centre. We were walking along when a man came walking towards us. One of the clients recognised this man as someone who comes to our church. He was making comments about he should be in church and things, and I replied that this man "was one of us". The man that I said was one of us has Schizophrenia and looks unkept, but all the same, I was proud to say that he was one of our church. I am proud to say that I do not belong to a 'designer church' with everyone who attends being people who are easy to talk to, but just by being here I get a glimpse of heaven.

Jesus

These are all images of what different people think that Jesus looks like. I was thinking about these recently and wondered whether we would recognise Jesus when we get to heaven. I think we would. I was having a conversation with Bram about this and he says that I would even know my Great, Great Grandma there. I just hope that Jesus doesn't say that he doesn't know me.

What God has said to me this week

The lessons that I have learnt this week are

1. People matter
2. I need to keep up a daily quiet time with a Bible reading and a devotional.

How I have been taught this.

1. I have had an insightful conversation with someone who quite regularly comes into our centre this week. From this conversation I have learnt a lot about this person. He is now a person to me and not just someone who prefers to spend his money on alcohol instead of buying food. This came about because I was chatting with Victor who regularly comes into our centre, and the other person came in. Victor told me that this person plays the flute, and this opened up an amazing conversation about music, commitment, and the fact he is ashamed because he doesn’t have a job. I think that this also teaches me to not be so cynical about people.
2. I will be honest and say that I find it difficult to set aside time for devotions. I realise that if I don’t do this, then God will not be able to teach me new things, and I will be stuck for sermon idea’s and things.

Roots Thoughts

Why was God more audible at Roots?

I've been thinking this through today after reading various people's accounts of their experiences at Roots and have two theories.

1. We don't get to hear the big name preachers all the time.
2. People are more relaxed at Roots because they don't have to worry about getting their equipment ready for the start of the meeting, and then concentrate on the part that they have to play during the meeting.
2a. People are more relaxed because they are not around people they know.

I'm not picking on Roots only, and I have been to Roots, but my experience of it was that it was all a bit of an anti climax in that I was never able to do anything with the new found enthusiasm in my corps. I was saved at a big Army holiday so I do understand the importance of having these events, but maybe there should be a follow up programme for people so that their experience of God in a major way is ongoing.

Just a thought or two.

In addition to the earlier post

I feel that I should add to my previous post by saying that I am not obsessed with bodily functions. I was merely trying to say (not very well) that I have been challenged by the position that people put Officers in. They have preconceived ideas of what they should do or say, and I hope that I live my life as God wants me to, not how people think I should.

Officers and bodily functions

Had a silly conversation with my Mum that finished by me saying that if I sat on her head I'd trump on it! For those who aren't familiar with the word trump, I mean break wind, or I've heard it described as a bottom burp. Anyway, back to the conversation. My Mum was shocked that I said I'd trump on her. She then commented that future Officers, or serving Officers shouldn't talk about trumping!!!! Every time I mention the conversation to Bram he kind of blanks me so my Mum might be right. Does this mean in September and afterwards I'm never going to be able to tell someone I'll trump on their head???? Is that what holiness is about??? I'm getting worried here.

Social Justice and our role.

I have been thinking about Social justice the past couple of days. Our meeting yesterday afternoon was on the book of Amos. It talks about social justice and what God's people should do about it. I then got this reading from Luke 14 in my devotional e-mail. It says this - Luke 14: 12 - 14 (New Living Translation) 12Then he turned to his host. "When you put on a luncheon or a dinner," he said, "don't invite your friends, brothers, relatives, and rich neighbors. For they will repay you by inviting you back. 13Instead, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, and the blind. 14Then at the resurrection of the godly, God will reward you for inviting those who could not repay you."

Before I came to Poplar I had a strange kind of view about doing things within the community for the community. I used to think that I should do these things as a way of getting people saved, but this Bible reading doesn't mention anywhere that you should invite people to a dinner and then present them with the gospel. Jesus wants us to feed them because we can, no hidden agenda's. No clever sales pitch about the kingdom, just food. I like this verse, but I also like the concept of feeding the ones looked down on by society. Our place is with them. But this is an easy thing to talk about here. We have plenty of needy people making themselves known to us. The real challenge for me will be when I leave, and take charge of my own corps. I really hope I don't lose sight of this instruction from Jesus.

Morning Prayers

I led morning prayers today at the local Men's Hostel. The people seemed to enjoy it, and there was record numbers of people attending. There was even talk of having to get more chairs into the chapel there. Hallelujah!

My theme was coming to God, although it did kind of skip around themes, like God is the King of Kings but we can call Him Father. I had an inspiring thought whilst thinking through what to do for prayers. It was this. We may never get an invitation to spend time with Her Majesty the Queen, but we have something far greater than that, and that is we get to spend eternity with the King of Kings.

Preparations.

I realised today that I've got lots to do for the next few weeks. I had to finish planning prayers that I am leading at the local men's hostel tomorrow, prepare a meeting that I'm leading on April 30th, and do study two of my correspondence course. This will keep me busy for the next couple of weeks.

During my time here at Poplar, I've had things easy really. I've not had anything regular to lead. (I led the JAM club for kids at my home Corps) I also have not had many meetings to prepare for and lead here. I think that things will be much busier when I go to college, so I had better get used to it now!

Thoughts from a 29 year old.

It was my 29th birthday on Saturday. I don't want to be 30. I know it's inevitable, but I just see 30 as old. Oh well, you can't stop time from rolling on, and soon enough I will be 30. I will be a Cadet in College, and I'm hoping to keep it quiet although I doubt if I'lll be able to because I get so excited when it's birthday time.

Trophy?

We were singing a well known song today in church, and the words in the chorus made me a little confused. The song was The Old Rugged Cross. The Chorus says:
So I'll cherish the old rugged cross,
till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
and exchange it some day for a crown.

The thing that confused me was talk about my trophies. What are my trophies? Maybe they are the things that I think are important to me. I have always taken it to mean that the cross will be held important by me until I die. I would welcome some suggestions on what my trophies might be. After all, I need to know what I'm laying at the feet of Jesus when I die!

The Old Rugged Cross
1. On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
the emblem of suffering and shame;
and I love that old cross where the dearest and best
for a world of lost sinners was slain.

Refrain:
So I'll cherish the old rugged cross,
till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
and exchange it some day for a crown.

2. O that old rugged cross, so despised by the world,
has a wondrous attraction for me;
for the dear Lamb of God left his glory above
to bear it to dark Calvary.

3. In that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,
a wondrous beauty I see,
for 'twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,
to pardon and sanctify me.

4. To that old rugged cross I will ever be true,
its shame and reproach gladly bear;
then he'll call me some day to my home far away,
where his glory forever I'll share.

Text: George Bennard, 1873-1958 Music: George Bennard, 1873-1958

Living sacrifice

Romans 12: 1 Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

I have been thinking about what my response to Jesus dying for me is, or should be, and came up with this Bible reading. As I was thinking about it last night, I realised that sacrifices aren't easy. They are messy, noisy, and smelly. The thing to be sacrificed is not happy about it.Jesus wasn't even particularly happy about sacrificing Himself, but recognised that He needed to so that Gods plan would be fulfilled. So to be a living sacrifice is not easy, or pleasant, but Jesus went through with it, and so in response to that we should.

Song number 512 in The salvation Army song book says this.

1.My life must be Christ's broken bread,
My love his outpoured wine,
A cup o'erfilled, a table spread
Beneath his name and sign.
That other souls, refreshed and fed,
May share his life through mine.

2.My all is in the Master's hands
For him to bless and break;
Beyond the brook his winepress stands
And thence my way I take,
Resolved the whole of love's demands
To give, for his dear sake.

3.Lord, let me share that grace of thine
Wherewith thou didst sustain
The burden of the fruitful vine,
The gift of buried grain.
Who dies with thee, O Word divine,
Shall rise and live again.

Albert Orsborn (1886-1967)

My Weekend

I've had quite an interesting weekend. On Saturday we went to the welcome meeting for General Shaw Clifton. This was a good, ordered affair with everything running smoothly and majority of people wearing their uniforms.

Now I come to Palm Sunday at Poplar. This was far from ordered. Things were planned, it's just that things happened when you didn't expect them to. Like Patrick walking in at the end of the sermon talking loudly about something or other. Then there was the Donkey. He didn't like the music of the band, and wanted to escape. to read Godon's account, go to www.urbanarmy.blogspot.com. this will help you to understand what I'm trying to say.

I enjoyed both of these 'expressions' of Salvation Army worship, and I'm sure that God accepted them both, but if I'm honest, I feel more comfortable being around the Poplar people to being around all the uniforms.

Good News

I've forgotten to mention in my blog that I have been accepted for training as a Salvation Army Officer. I start this September, feel totally unprepared, but relying entirely on God. Thank you to anyone who has been praying for me.

Reluctant to change.

My Mum gave me some disturbing news not long ago. Her Salvation Army (my home corps) is having a new Mercy Seat and platform! Why did this news disturb me? I don't know. After all, I've been left the Corps two years. I guess it all has to do with the fact that this was the Mercy Seat where I knelt and gave my heart to God when I was ten years old. The platform was where I was dedicated, enrolled a Junior Soldier, enrolled a senior soldier, and got married. The funny thing is that my Mum seemed quite happy to get these new items. I guess in my future ministry, when people get upset because I want to change something, I need to remember my own reluctance to change the Mercy Seat and platform.

Holiday Thoughts.

We came back from our holiday yesterday. We more or less spent a week doing nothing, but thinking about what was going on at home. The holiday was at St Ives Cornwall. All week as we travelled around Cornwall visiting different places, I kept singing the song All Things Bright And Beautiful. It's easy to think of God's creation when you are in a place that is so vastly natural, and hardly any modern buildings around, but in London, it takes a bit more looking to discover natural beauty.

Are we Celts?

I have been going to a local Lent series the past two weeks. (I missed the first one because I forgot it was happening!) I learned a lot last night both from the speaker and from our small group discussion. One of the things that came out from the discussion was that the Celts knew that God was already in everything that happened. Now we tend to put God into things. An example I can think of is when we are in our meetings and invite God into the preceedings. God is already there, so it is insulting to say to God "We're here God, come and join us" Or what we usually say is "we ask that you will be here among us at this time of worship". Something we Salvationists have in common with the Celts is our total reliance on God for everything. We hand over everything to Him. Our time, our talents, our money and He takes care of it all for us.

Salvation Army Song Book Number 527

1.
The Saviour of men came to seek and to save
The souls who were lost to the good;
His Spirit was moved for the world which he loved
With the boundless compassion of God.
And still there are fields where the laborers are few,
And still there are souls without bread,
And still eyes that weep where the darkness is deep,
And still straying sheep to be led.

Chorus
Except I am moved with compassion,
How dwelleth thy Spirit in me?
In word and in deed
Burning love is my need;
I know I can find this in thee.

2.
O is not the Christ 'midst the crowd of today
Whose questioning cries do not cease?
And will he not show to the hearts that would know
The things that belong to their peace?
But how shall they hear if the preacher forbear
Or lack in compassionate zeal?
Or how shall hearts move with the Master's own love,
Without his anointing and seal?

3.
It is not with might to establish the right,
Nor yet with the wise to give rest;
The mind cannot show what the heart longs to know
Nor comfort a people distressed.
O Saviour of men,
touch my spirit again,
And grant that thy servant may be
Intense every day,
as I labor and pray,
Both instant and constant for thee.

Albert Orsborn (1886-1967)

Evangelism The Patrick Way.

"I had a good time at church yesterday Madam. Do you go to church?"
"No Patrick I'm not religious, I don't go to church"
"Don't you? Well you should!"

This was a conversation that I overheard at work in the community lounge this week between Patrick (The same Patrick mentioned in Captdoc1 blog and URBANarmy blog) and a lady who comes in for breakfast sometimes. I like Patricks approach, although it wouldn't work for all of us. Another of his conversation's that has stuck in my mind happened last year when I took him in a cafe for a cup of tea on our annual church outing. It goes something along the lines of Patrick saying "Madam, where are you from? We're from The Salvation Army inPoplar." She told him where she was from and he replied "Oh. There's a sale on in Woolworths, have you been there?" Patrick was proud that he goes to The Salvation Army inPoplar, and we're glad that he is part of our community.

The telephone rang today and it was a man wanting accomodation. You can tell when someone has worked themselves up to make a phone call. They launch right into what they are going to say. The problem here was that I work for a Corps and not a hostel so I was totally unable to help. I gave him the number of our local hostel that has recently been refurbished. He put the phone down and I decided that I should check that this was the right number. I discovered that it wasn't! Now though I have the correct number so I can direct people to the right place.

A little later, one of our regular homeless men came in for assistance. He was completely worse for wear. Slurring his words, and looking like he was fighting to get words out. I strongly suspect it wasn't just alcohol he had consumed today. This was another instance where I felt so helpless. I gave him a few tins of food, and just wondered what I could do for him. I ended up offering him a cup of tea which he drank. I didn't know what else to do.

Quiet Women?

I have been reading about The Angel Adjutant tonight. I have read her story before, but it's sometimes good to re-read things. One of the things that I have noticed about her in the first few chapters is that she was a quiet, shy person who was at her best in one to one conversations. Another person who is mentioned in this book is Catherine Booth. Apparently, she was also a shy person at the commencement of her ministry. When you think of Catherine, you think of this confident, outgoing person who is not afraid to speak her mind. After reading this about Catherine, I wonder whether she comes across completely different in her writings, and because I have never met her or sat in on her meetings I just assume that she was this great public preacher and Evangelist. I guess this is one of those questions that I will never know the true answer to until I meet with her in heaven. Although, no offense to her, but I think that she will be the last thing on my mind in heaven!

Hidden Agenda?

I had a really hectic day yesterday. Patrick was on top form showing off to everyone who was watching or listening to him in the Coffee Shop. I also tried to put up a trampoline for the Parent And Toddlers whilst it was quiet in the coffee shop. In the evening I did cooking with two six year olds where I burned the chocolate when I was trying to melt it. All in all it was a busy day! I thought about a blog I had read recently that spoke about two ladies who were the face of The Salvation Army to the people in their town. They didn't have any hidden agenda's, they just did what they could for the people because they loved them. I would like to think that this is the way that I "do mission" in my life. Yesterday, whilst Patrick was showing off, I wasn't thinking about how this could work to get people saved. Or when I burnt the Chocolate I wasn't thinking of any slick ways to turn that into a sermon illustration. It gets me cross when people analyse things too much. I like the simple gospel for the whosever. I like to do things because it's what comes naturally, and pray that it will still be that way even after my training for Salvation Army officership.

Presents.

I was challenged on Sunday about whether I take God's gift of nature for granted. I have to say honestly that I do. This is because I grew up on a housing estate where you could see the hills in the distance and sometimes sheep were grazing on these hills. It just seemed like the normal thing to walk home from school and see these sheep. But now, in the heart of London's East End I have no fields to look upon. No sheep graze in my neighbourhood. Nevertheless, I still see God's beauty here. I see works of grace everyday as I go about my life. I look up to the sky and think how beautiful it is sometimes. I also can see a cross of airoplane vapours occasionally. I always remember at this time that God loves me.

I don't think I wake up every morning thankful that I have woken up, but this is the most simple, but most important gifts that God gives us. I have a photo frame that says on it "every day is a gift, that's why it's called the present"

Groundbreaking News

It's official, I can now fry eggs!!!! This is my newly aquired skill. Whenever I fry eggs in the future I can remember that I learned this skill while I was Community Support Worker at Poplar Salvation Army. Ok, this doesn't sound very exciting to everyone else, but I am really impressed with myself. So impressed that Bramwell had to have a fried egg sandwich for supper last night and another for breakfast this morning!

Holiness

This week I've had my thoughts on holiness challenged. I always thought that holiness was all about your relationship with God, but I now know that is not the whole story on being holy. William Booth said

"What do I mean by a Holy life? It is .... A life fashioned after the life
of the Lord Jesus Christ. Is not such a life desirable?"

I think that William Booth here was talking about the whole of ones life. It sounds strange, but I have never really associated holiness with the way you live your life! I have grown up in The Salvation Army, but don't feel that I have a great deal of knowledge about holiness. How can I have missed such an important part of being a Christian? I'm not saying that I haven't tried to be holy, because I have, but I obviously have not grasped the bigger picture of it all.

Anniversary Present.

Today is my second wedding anniversary, and I would like to give Bramwell an online birthday present, so here you are Bramwell, I am going to link your blog from mine. Happy Anniversary.

Mountains

In House Group recently we listened to the song that Boyzone sing called You Raise Me Up. As this song was playing I had a picture going through my mind of two people running which I thought was God and myself although I couldn't see any faces. We were holding hands and God was leading me along. It's good to see that it's God leading me through my life and not my own doing.

Another picture I had during the song was of a mountain, and I was thinking that a mountain is shaped like a triangle. Well, the mountain I was thinking of was anyway. This mountain was so steep that the only way that I could get to the top was by God leading the way. However, once I got to the top and was enjoying the mountain top experience, the only way back was by coming down. I read the story of Elijah and his challenge to the Prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel recently. This is found in 1 Kings 18. After God had proved His power through Elijah, Elijah ran away in fear of his life. I find this quite strange, because God had just proved His power to Elijah, and so he should have realised that God could have protected him, but instead, his human reactions took over and he fled.

Pentecost

I was flicking through my Bible whilst listening to a CD when the song Send The Fire came on. At the same time I got to Acts 2. “When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them.”

It got me thinking about Pentecost, and what my church here in East London would do if people were so filled with the Holy Spirit that they started speaking in tongues, and the other gifts of the Spirit that we hear about were given to others in the congregation. Would it dramatically change the framework of our church in any way? When God comes to you so powerfully, you can’t help but be filled with praise and adoration, but would it change who we are and what we do as a church? And would God want it to? I believe that God would want it to, because if He didn't, He wouldn't have given the gifts in the first place.

Being Taken For a Ride

Recently I have had to deal with people at work who I think are taking The salvation Army for a ride. People who come in regularly for food parcels when blind drunk are the ones that I think we are not helping by giving them food. We try to tell them that life is all about choices and part of that choice is what to spend your money on, but I don’t think they really listen. Today I had to deal with two men who said that they are from an Eastern European country and are sleeping in the local park. To me this seemed suspicious because I have dealt with lots of people who are homeless and these two men looked and smelled too clean to be homeless. However, I gave them a bag of food and off they went. I suspect that we will be seeing a lot of them in the future. I find it difficult sometimes to discern whether people are telling the truth or not about their circumstances, but I would hate to send someone away with nothing if they really needed it.

Who is it for?

I was stuck in traffic today and a song came on in my car about revival. I wondered whether the people crossing the road in front of me would have a clue about what the song was about. Sometimes as Christians we use language that none Christians (and some Christians) can not understand. We may as well be talking in a different language! Some examples I can think of are Predestination, Justification, “Priesthood of all believers”. In The Salvation Army we can be just as bad. We tend to abbreviate things and I’ve even had people who have been in the SA all their life ask me what some mean and if I’m honest I don’t always know the answer. I was talking to someone today who has been attending our church for around 2 years now and they didn’t know that Gordon, Kate, and Bram are ministers even though they lead the meetings (services) most Sundays. I think he was really surprised and was asking questions like “so can they conduct weddings and things?”

I think that we should make the Christian message more understandable to none Christians. This isn’t a new idea; after all, that is why the King James Version of the Bible was translated into English. Jesus even spoke in the language of the people of His time, although He did speak in parables and things sometimes.

Single Spouse Officers

There’s been a lot of comments going around in various blogs about an article that appears in the latest issue of JAC which you can read at www.armybarmy.com. This article is written by Danielle Strickland and is concerning married women’s roles as Officers. I would like to raise a few thoughts concerning my position. From a married women who is not an officer but married to an officer, I wonder whether because my husband is married to a “none officer” he would be overlooked for certain senior roles within The Salvation Army. I know that single spouse officership is not allowed in certain territories, so if my husband had the necessary skills to lead these territories would he be appointed as Territorial Commander to them, or would he be overlooked because of me? And on the other hand, if it was me who was the officer and he wasn’t would I be restricted in my ministry because of my marital status? I don’t believe that it is just married women who have a tough time. How many unmarried men are on the High Council? I don’t think we’ve ever had an unmarried man as General. (I wish that my husband wasn’t away on an officers seminar thing because he would have been able to tell me the answers!) It will be interesting to see how Single Spouse Officership works out in the future.

Sales pitch

We went shopping on Saturday and we got stopped by someone wanting to sell me something for my nails and hands. I've been stopped by the same company before, so I knew what was coming my way. At least I thought I did anyway. This woman was really persistant. She kept putting the product in my hand, and I kept putting it back on the shelf. She offered it me for £30, which was the price I knew it was. When I refused she dropped the price to £25. When I still refused, she told me she had a secret that I shouldn't tell anyone but I should take the offer up quickly before her manager came back. I could have this product for £20 if I took her up on it right away! Well, I told her that I really didn't want it at any price and walked away. This incident made me laugh all the way round the shops.

People are full of surprises. Just when we think we know them, they surprise us with something they say or do. I'm one of the kind of people that looks for the funny things in the day, and am never disappointed even when things get hectic. I hope I can always be like this.

I was thinking about yesterdays post a lot last night. I realised that I’d got the title a bit mixed up, but on thinking about it, I got it right. There are some who work for God without knowing God at all.

The word “Works” appears 67 times in the New International version according to www.biblegateway.com. This is significant, because it indicates to me that works aren’t the whole story of Salvation to God. John 6: 28 – 29 says, “Then they asked him, "What must we do to do the works God requires?" Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent." Jesus didn’t want us to work ourselves into the ground for Him, but He did want us to make some kind of effort. The Great Commission doesn’t say “Sit down, have a rest, you deserve it” but says something like “go into all the world to make disciples of all nations”. It says somewhere in the Bible that there is a time for work, and a time for rest. (I think it does anyway) the difficulty is to decide whether it’s the working time or resting time.

Works Without Faith

I’ve been thinking this week about how much I do in church. I had to list everything that I do, but found it difficult. I know that I have missed things out, because I just automatically do things without thinking. It’s good that we don’t have to rely on what we do for God to get us into heaven. All God wants is for us to be obedient to His leading.

Hallelujah!

People watching and blogging

One of my favourite ways to pass the day is to people watch. If my living room window was on the front of my house I'd probably have my chair by it and looking out of the window a lot! I have to say that I'm nosy. This is why I read other people's blogs. It gives me an insight into peoples lives that I might not necessarily get otherwise. The other reason I like it is because it's a bit like looking at their diaries. I know I could have said things like it makes me think about issues concerning others and things, but that's not the whole truth about why I read blogs, I'm just nosy!

I blog because it helps me to put events of the day into perspective. It's one of the only ways that I will use to think things through. I have to say that I blog for myself, but accept that there may be people who read my stuff, although I doubt it.

All alone

I was watching the only soap opera that I follow tonight and was reminded of when I had my last operation on my ear. The reason I was reminded of this was because one of the new characters had to have an operation on his ear and the bandage brought all my memories flooding back. I could even remember how I felt after coming round from the op. I think my operation was on a Friday afternoon, and I was still living at home at the time, so Bram was around 300 miles away. I came round from the op and asked if my Mum was coming to visit, and the nurse told me she was. I kept myself awake for over an hour waiting for my Mum and Dad to arrive, but they didn't come. This was the only time that I've ever been in hospital and not had any visitors. My Mum came to collect me the following day, but I just remember the feeling of being abandoned and alone because I hadn't had any visitors. But really, there are plenty of people who sit at home all day never seeing anyone, or not having any friends or family to care for them. This is why I try to talk to people who come into our centre. I don't find it particularly easy to talk to people I don't know, but I try to anyway, because I may be the only friendly face that that person sees that week or day.

How Big Is God?

The past couple of days, I've been thinking about my idea of who God is. In house group this week, someone said that our idea of God is usually influenced by our earthly parents. I've had a good childhood, and a good relationship with my parents, but I didn't really start to form a 'real' relationship with God until my relationship with my Dad was difficult, and I suddenly realised that my Dad wasn't superhuman after all! In some ways, God became this superhuman Father who I could totally depend on when I needed Him. I also started to seriously study the Bible at this time, and discover things that I had never known before.

To change the subject slightly, I had a discussion with a couple of children last night about what God looks like. The children told me that God is an old man with a long white beard. Now I've heard this before from different people, and if I'm honest, I sometimes think He looks like that. But why do we think God looks like a gentle old man? The Bible doesn't indicate anywhere that this is true? And if I'm honest, I don't really like the idea of praying to a gentle old man. I like the picture of a lion. I think Aslan in The Chronicles of Narnia film comes quite close, although I'm struggling with the fact that I'd like to think that God would put up more of a fight for me than Aslan did for Edmund, but God see's the bigger picture and knows the consequences of His actions, and so something that looks weak in the short term, looks much stronger in the long term.

Looking around

Recently I've had a couple of people tell me that they didn't know that The Salvation Army was where it is. When they asked me how long it had been on the site that it is on, I wasn't sure whether to tell them that actually has been where it is since the 1920's!!!! This makes me wonder what sort of places I have missed as I've travelled around.

Moving forward

I got my Candidate final application forms today in the post. When I was given my initial application forms I was really nervous about filling them in. This was because I was really nervous and scared of what God was going to ask of me. I was so nervous I was late in getting the forms back to DHQ, which wasn't a good thing, and suffered the consequences of this. Now it's a different story. I can't wait to get them filled in and sent back to DHQ. I've now got the problem of biding my time before filling them in because I don't want to appear too enthusiastic! However, I think I will get them filled in and sent back so that I can concentrate on more important things in my life right now, like writing an essay on Jeremiah which I've had for absolutely ages and really really need to get it done.

Am I soft?

Recently I've been accused of being tough with people, and saying no to loans of money and things. This kind of made me think. When I arrived at Poplar Corps in 2004 I had what could probably be seen as a very idealistic view of The Salvation Army and it's mission. I also think it's fair to say I had a very limited view. Now, after nearly 2 years here, I would like to think that I have grown as a person, grown spiritually, and maybe more importantly, am less naive.

As I've said before, it winds me up when I think that people are taking advantage of my good nature, and also the charitableness of The Salvation Army. If people are grateful for something that you do for them it makes it more worthwhile, but it also makes me willing to go the extra mile for them.

Take today for example. I handle the room bookings at my Corps, and had a telephone call from an organisation that I personally am not too pleased with at the minute. However, I was willing to bury my feelings for the duration of the call and listen to what this woman wanted from me. She basically wanted to hire a room on Wednesday morning for an hour, to which I agreed. Then I had a phone call from the people that she had rang on behalf of. Now because the second woman was so grateful for allowing the use of the room, I was willing to do a little more for them. This got me wondering whether I am still basically the trusting, naive person I was 2 years ago, or has this quality been developed to allow me to deal with people God's way? Answers on a postcard please.

I love Sundays

I love Sundays. I always have done, even when my Mum used to drag me out of the church service to smack me when I'd been naughty! I think it's got a lot to do with being part of a community that has a common aim.

I used to go to see Leicester City FC before I got married, and even though it was being part of a community with a common aim, it wasn't the same as being in church.

Today has been a good day at church, even though I've got a cold, can't stop coughing, sneezing, or blowing my nose, I've enjoyed being in church.

What Have You Done For Him Today?

I've had various conversations recently concerning the question "What have you done for God today?" The thing is, that I think that we don't always realise that we are doing God's work. I also think that it should come so naturally that you shouldn't always realise that it's the Master's work. In some way's we should be like the woman in the Bible who washed Jesus' feet with her tears. Washing feet was the custom in Bible times, although I'm not sure that Jesus had His feet washed with tears very often.

If I'm totally honest, I can't really think of any specific thing that I have done for Jesus today. I've given my time to a few people today, a listening ear, picked up jumble, cooked Bram's tea, but these all seem to be mundane every day things. I'm so glad that accepts these as offerings of worship to Him. So what have you done for Him today?

Busyness

Busyness is such an understatement describing the day I've had today! I love being busy, but there have been times today that it has just been ridiculous! I've had room bookings to deal with, things to go out and buy for our charity shop, And all sorts of other things going on around me!

I think one of my highlights of today has to be the time I gave to our lunch club people just talking to them. There are a few people who come early just so that they can break up their day. The least I can do is give them a few minutes of my time. They usually teach me a thing or two!

It's Kids Club tonight. I wonder what's going to happen there tonight.

Despite today being so hectic, God was right there in the middle, even when I wasn;t listening.

Searching for Peace

As I've said in an earlier blog, I've been worrying about something since the weekend. Today, I finally found the peace within the situation although I wasn't really thinking about it. God is right in the middle of our situation, and I know He's in control.

Maybe this was to prepare me for the stress I got later! I can now see why people are so against Poplar Harca. I don't think the left hand knows what the right is doing. To find out what stressed me out, click http://captdoc1.blogspot.com

Ralph's funeral

Today was Ralph's funeral. Ralph visited our coffee shop regularly, and is someone I will never forget for a number of reasons. One of those is the conversations we had. He spoke with a Newcastle accent, and also spoke really fast which people found difficult to understand. Oh yeah, he also spoke quietly, which posed another problem. But Ralph just came to us for a friendly face. He didn't come for help with anything, but wanted to have normal conversations with people.

Bram did his funeral, and the sad part is that only Bram, and the funeral director were there. This man, who had become part of my life, must also have been part of a lot of people's life's. We are here for these kind of people, the one's who have no one else in their lives.

For Bram's account of the funeral, please go to http://captdoc1.blogspot.com

Worry, worry, worry

Today I have been thinking again about my future. This causes me to worry. What will God ask of me? Where will he take me? I have a dread in my mind about something that may happen to me. The thing is, that I could say no if this thing is proposed to me, so why do I worry about it? So many questions, but the thing to remember is that I'm in God's hands. That should give me confidence to face anything that I may face in the future.

This blog wasn't meant to be quite so cryptic! I've got a headache now, where's the Paracetamols????

Looking back

I had to go to Queens Hospital, Burton on Trent, Staffs yesterday. The appointment was at 9am so I stayed over at my Mums on Thursday night. I had a real trip down menory lane. On Thursday, we went for a meal at a place that I used to go to regularly. (Not McDs!!!) I saw someone there I used to work with, although I'm not sure he recognised me. Then yesterday I partook of my favourite pastime, SHOPPING. Me and my Mum wen t shopping in Burton. I used to go there lots before I was married. My life was completely different then to how it is now. It's nice to indulge in things you really enjoy. Shopping with Bram is nothing like shopping with my Mum. He drags on behind, getting on my nerves, commenting on the things I want to buy. My Mum encourages me to get things! Mind you, she also pays a lot of the time as well.

It's good to look back to how things used to be somethings. I think it helps you to reassess the person you have become, and of course the reasons you are how you are. I think that Lots wife turned into a pillar of salt when she looked back at the burning city of Sodom, because she was told not to look back, but move forward quickly.

Reflections on Reflections.

Last night it was my turn to lead reflections before kids club. We've started doing reflections before kids club, and take it in turns to lead them. For mine I used the poem If a child lives with.

If a Child Lives With...
If a child lives with criticism… He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility… He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule… He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with jealousy… He learns to feel guilty.
But If a child lives with tolerance… He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement… He learns self-confidence.
If a child lives with praise… He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness… He learns justice.
If a child lives with approval… He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with security… He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship… He learns to find love in the world.

I then went on to say that children are watching us all the time and learning from us. In the same way, adults are learning from us. They look at us and see the way Christians live their lives.

This week I have had to say no to a couple of people because they have wanted something that I feel would not be good for them (Or The Salvation Army here in the long run). They both involved the loan of money. The first one had just been given a bag of tinned food, then he left the building, then returned quickly asking to borrow £1.50. I know this is not a lot of money, but this person is a known alcoholic. I feel that I would only be funding his alcohol addiction, and that is not what we are about here. Besides which, through past experiences of others at the centre, £1.50 doesn't stay that amount. The person will probably then want to borrow more and more money until it becomes impossible for them to pay it back. This person was begging me to borrow it, I think trying to wear me down, but that doesn't work with me, it just makes me cross and more adament that I'm not going to lend money to them.

The other instance was someone well known to us. He has mental health issues, and also has a problem with budgeting his money. On Monday Bram had promised him a dinner, but after telling our cook, was told that he couldn't have one. Because Bram had promised him a dinner, I felt obliged to provide him with a meal of some kind, so I let him have a breakfast on the promise that he would pay us for it on Thursday. This would be ok, but yesterday he wanted another breakfast on the same terms. I then had to explain why I did it on Monday, but couldn't do it on Tuesday.

After thinking these two instances through, it left me wondering the old question What Would Jesus Do? Jesus had the benefit of being God, and so saw things through God's eyes. Jesus would know what the consequences of giving people what they asked for was. I just wonder He would have done in these instances.

The Future

I've been thinking this weekend about what my future has in store for me. I don't know what will happen to me tomorrow, never mind in 5 years time. I was at the welcome to the High Council (The group that meets together to elect the next General of The salvation Army) on saturday, and was wondering whether Bram and I would ever be on it. Now this sounds big headed, and at the minute I know that I don't have the skills to lead a whole territory, but who knows what has happened to the members in their lives to prepare them for this current moment in time. God can, and does use anyone who is willing to be used in any way for Him.

Another thing that I wonder about is overseas service. Bram is a qualified Psychiatrist, and so has specialist skills. All I can say is that I am willing to go wherever God sends us. God has a plan for our lives, and it says in Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.' (New Living Translation) It also says in Proverbs 16:9 "We make our own plans, but the Lord decides where we will go. " (CEV) This last verse is important because no matter what we plan, if God hasn't planned it, then we will fail.

Neat and Tidy

I set the chairs today in our hall ready for worship on Sunday. It's strangely satisfying getting the rows lined up, making sure each row is straight and in line with the one in front. If I don't, I only end up not being able to concentrate on worship on Sundays because I'm worrying about out of place chairs! Hmmmmm, I need to get some new interests in life!!!!

Things will never be the same.

Today I've been thinking about how to advertise the Luncheon Club. I've come up with lots of different idea's, which I've also thought through, and thought of the consequences. I also need to think about why I want the Luncheon Club to grow. It's not about raising our profile within the Salvation Army, but there is a deep need for friendship within our area which I think we can provide. So I'm going to work through the list, and trust God to do His will within our Corps.

What's been happening

After finishing yesterdays post, I realised that I haven't posted since November last year, so here's a quick summary of December. The first weekend in December, I had my assessment conference. This is a weekend of interviews, written projects, and group work that I had to do as part of my application to become a Salvation Army officer. I was really nervous when I arrived, which didn't help, because I was also about ten minutes late, even though the college is only about half an hours drive away. But as the Saturday went on, I began to relax. There were a couple of the assessors that I knew, which helped me to relax, and also, I wasn't the last to arrive! The last person to arrive was a friend of mine, and so now I was happy. The weekend was so relaxing it was unbelievable. We had a timetable to let us know when our interviews were and where, but after that, it was up to us to organise our time to complete written work. My result from my assessment conference is that I have been recommended for training!

December is also the time of advent. So in true Salvation Army style, our little band was out carroling. But also, our Corps organises a meal on Christmas day,and also puts on some entertainment. The day is mainly for old people, or people who would be on their own on Christmas day. December seems to be a month of parties. The Kids club party was fancy dress, and I went as a bear. I was going to go as a reindeer, but we already had 2, so I opted for a bear. We also had a parent and toddlers party, and a Christmas meal for our Lunch Club and the volunteers, which went well. Christmas is such a busy time that if we're not careful, we lose sight of the reason we celebrate.

Today.

Today so far has been interesting. It started off with me trying to think how and where to advertise Luncheon Club. Then our cook went home and so I needed to help with Parent and Toddlers which I don't really enjoy, but hay, we all have to do things we don't want to do sometimes!

This evening I've been avoiding writing an essay. I know I need to do it, I also know I can do it, but I just don't have the motivation. So instead, tonight was spent ironing clothes and watching TV. The lengths I'll go to to avoid doing somerthing!!!