I'm a second year

Today, I have been thinking about what being a second year Cadet is all about. So here are a few of my thoughts.
1. I will be a commissioned officer of The Salvation Army in 48 weeks.
2. My essays will be longer.
3. God loves me just as much today as He did the day I entered the training college nearly 1 year ago.
4. Expectations will be higher of my ability to lead meetings.
5. My shoulders are a little heavier (2nd year Cadets have 2 bars on their epaulets, 1st years have 1).

My hopes for the coming year are -

• I will grow in my relationship with God.
• I will grow in my knowledge of God.
• I will be the best person that I can be for God.
• I will develop into the best Salvation Army officer that I can be.

Caught in a trap.

When I started college, one of my biggest fears was that I would get caught up in the trap of comparing my results for my essays. Slowly but surely my marks have improved, and as they get higher I then expect higher marks or my essays. I am now caught in this trap. If I get lower than a certain mark for an essay I am disappointed, which my rational mind knows is a silly way to be, but it doesn't stop me being this way!

Update

I have now been at Clapton 4 times. This seems weird to write, because in some ways it feels like I have always been there. Today I was working in the kitchen, and it all seemed really natural, not like a new job at all. Well, except for when I gave somebody 1 piece of toast when it should have been 2, but it was handled graciously.

I am really conscious that I can hide away from people in the kitchen, or in general busyness, which is something that is very easy for me to do. This is instead of the more difficult task of talking to people.