Searching for Peace

As I've said in an earlier blog, I've been worrying about something since the weekend. Today, I finally found the peace within the situation although I wasn't really thinking about it. God is right in the middle of our situation, and I know He's in control.

Maybe this was to prepare me for the stress I got later! I can now see why people are so against Poplar Harca. I don't think the left hand knows what the right is doing. To find out what stressed me out, click http://captdoc1.blogspot.com

Ralph's funeral

Today was Ralph's funeral. Ralph visited our coffee shop regularly, and is someone I will never forget for a number of reasons. One of those is the conversations we had. He spoke with a Newcastle accent, and also spoke really fast which people found difficult to understand. Oh yeah, he also spoke quietly, which posed another problem. But Ralph just came to us for a friendly face. He didn't come for help with anything, but wanted to have normal conversations with people.

Bram did his funeral, and the sad part is that only Bram, and the funeral director were there. This man, who had become part of my life, must also have been part of a lot of people's life's. We are here for these kind of people, the one's who have no one else in their lives.

For Bram's account of the funeral, please go to http://captdoc1.blogspot.com

Worry, worry, worry

Today I have been thinking again about my future. This causes me to worry. What will God ask of me? Where will he take me? I have a dread in my mind about something that may happen to me. The thing is, that I could say no if this thing is proposed to me, so why do I worry about it? So many questions, but the thing to remember is that I'm in God's hands. That should give me confidence to face anything that I may face in the future.

This blog wasn't meant to be quite so cryptic! I've got a headache now, where's the Paracetamols????

Looking back

I had to go to Queens Hospital, Burton on Trent, Staffs yesterday. The appointment was at 9am so I stayed over at my Mums on Thursday night. I had a real trip down menory lane. On Thursday, we went for a meal at a place that I used to go to regularly. (Not McDs!!!) I saw someone there I used to work with, although I'm not sure he recognised me. Then yesterday I partook of my favourite pastime, SHOPPING. Me and my Mum wen t shopping in Burton. I used to go there lots before I was married. My life was completely different then to how it is now. It's nice to indulge in things you really enjoy. Shopping with Bram is nothing like shopping with my Mum. He drags on behind, getting on my nerves, commenting on the things I want to buy. My Mum encourages me to get things! Mind you, she also pays a lot of the time as well.

It's good to look back to how things used to be somethings. I think it helps you to reassess the person you have become, and of course the reasons you are how you are. I think that Lots wife turned into a pillar of salt when she looked back at the burning city of Sodom, because she was told not to look back, but move forward quickly.

Reflections on Reflections.

Last night it was my turn to lead reflections before kids club. We've started doing reflections before kids club, and take it in turns to lead them. For mine I used the poem If a child lives with.

If a Child Lives With...
If a child lives with criticism… He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility… He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule… He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with jealousy… He learns to feel guilty.
But If a child lives with tolerance… He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement… He learns self-confidence.
If a child lives with praise… He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness… He learns justice.
If a child lives with approval… He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with security… He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship… He learns to find love in the world.

I then went on to say that children are watching us all the time and learning from us. In the same way, adults are learning from us. They look at us and see the way Christians live their lives.

This week I have had to say no to a couple of people because they have wanted something that I feel would not be good for them (Or The Salvation Army here in the long run). They both involved the loan of money. The first one had just been given a bag of tinned food, then he left the building, then returned quickly asking to borrow £1.50. I know this is not a lot of money, but this person is a known alcoholic. I feel that I would only be funding his alcohol addiction, and that is not what we are about here. Besides which, through past experiences of others at the centre, £1.50 doesn't stay that amount. The person will probably then want to borrow more and more money until it becomes impossible for them to pay it back. This person was begging me to borrow it, I think trying to wear me down, but that doesn't work with me, it just makes me cross and more adament that I'm not going to lend money to them.

The other instance was someone well known to us. He has mental health issues, and also has a problem with budgeting his money. On Monday Bram had promised him a dinner, but after telling our cook, was told that he couldn't have one. Because Bram had promised him a dinner, I felt obliged to provide him with a meal of some kind, so I let him have a breakfast on the promise that he would pay us for it on Thursday. This would be ok, but yesterday he wanted another breakfast on the same terms. I then had to explain why I did it on Monday, but couldn't do it on Tuesday.

After thinking these two instances through, it left me wondering the old question What Would Jesus Do? Jesus had the benefit of being God, and so saw things through God's eyes. Jesus would know what the consequences of giving people what they asked for was. I just wonder He would have done in these instances.

The Future

I've been thinking this weekend about what my future has in store for me. I don't know what will happen to me tomorrow, never mind in 5 years time. I was at the welcome to the High Council (The group that meets together to elect the next General of The salvation Army) on saturday, and was wondering whether Bram and I would ever be on it. Now this sounds big headed, and at the minute I know that I don't have the skills to lead a whole territory, but who knows what has happened to the members in their lives to prepare them for this current moment in time. God can, and does use anyone who is willing to be used in any way for Him.

Another thing that I wonder about is overseas service. Bram is a qualified Psychiatrist, and so has specialist skills. All I can say is that I am willing to go wherever God sends us. God has a plan for our lives, and it says in Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.' (New Living Translation) It also says in Proverbs 16:9 "We make our own plans, but the Lord decides where we will go. " (CEV) This last verse is important because no matter what we plan, if God hasn't planned it, then we will fail.

Neat and Tidy

I set the chairs today in our hall ready for worship on Sunday. It's strangely satisfying getting the rows lined up, making sure each row is straight and in line with the one in front. If I don't, I only end up not being able to concentrate on worship on Sundays because I'm worrying about out of place chairs! Hmmmmm, I need to get some new interests in life!!!!

Things will never be the same.

Today I've been thinking about how to advertise the Luncheon Club. I've come up with lots of different idea's, which I've also thought through, and thought of the consequences. I also need to think about why I want the Luncheon Club to grow. It's not about raising our profile within the Salvation Army, but there is a deep need for friendship within our area which I think we can provide. So I'm going to work through the list, and trust God to do His will within our Corps.

What's been happening

After finishing yesterdays post, I realised that I haven't posted since November last year, so here's a quick summary of December. The first weekend in December, I had my assessment conference. This is a weekend of interviews, written projects, and group work that I had to do as part of my application to become a Salvation Army officer. I was really nervous when I arrived, which didn't help, because I was also about ten minutes late, even though the college is only about half an hours drive away. But as the Saturday went on, I began to relax. There were a couple of the assessors that I knew, which helped me to relax, and also, I wasn't the last to arrive! The last person to arrive was a friend of mine, and so now I was happy. The weekend was so relaxing it was unbelievable. We had a timetable to let us know when our interviews were and where, but after that, it was up to us to organise our time to complete written work. My result from my assessment conference is that I have been recommended for training!

December is also the time of advent. So in true Salvation Army style, our little band was out carroling. But also, our Corps organises a meal on Christmas day,and also puts on some entertainment. The day is mainly for old people, or people who would be on their own on Christmas day. December seems to be a month of parties. The Kids club party was fancy dress, and I went as a bear. I was going to go as a reindeer, but we already had 2, so I opted for a bear. We also had a parent and toddlers party, and a Christmas meal for our Lunch Club and the volunteers, which went well. Christmas is such a busy time that if we're not careful, we lose sight of the reason we celebrate.

Today.

Today so far has been interesting. It started off with me trying to think how and where to advertise Luncheon Club. Then our cook went home and so I needed to help with Parent and Toddlers which I don't really enjoy, but hay, we all have to do things we don't want to do sometimes!

This evening I've been avoiding writing an essay. I know I need to do it, I also know I can do it, but I just don't have the motivation. So instead, tonight was spent ironing clothes and watching TV. The lengths I'll go to to avoid doing somerthing!!!