Keep on Believng.

I have been thinking about my not liking leading meetings this week, and this song from the Salvation Army song book came to my mind. it's song number 773.

1.
When you feel weakest, dangers surround,
Subtle temptations, troubles abound,
Nothing seems hopeful, nothing seems glad,
All is despairing, everything sad:

Chorus

Keep on believing, Jesus is near;
Keep on believing, there's nothing to fear;
Keep on believing, this is the way;
Faith in the night as well as the day.

2.
If all were easy, if all were bright,
Where would the cross be, and where the fight?
But in the hardness, God gives to you
Chances of proving that you are true.

3.
God is your wisdom, God is your might,
God's ever near you, guiding aright;
He understands you, knows all you need;
Trusting in him you'll surely succeed.

4.
Let us press on then, never despair,
Live above feeling, victory's there;
Jesus can keep us so near to him
That nevermore our faith shall grow dim.

Lucy Milward Booth-Hellberg (1868-1953)

I have claimed those words for myself recently. If everything was easy, I might not rely on God so much. I think that these words will be especially relevant to me for the next couple of years whilst I am in college. I know that I will struggle academically, but I always have done. I am more a practical hands on kind of person. My brother gor all the brains in my family. He's an accountant, but he is him, and I am me.

An invitation for a coffee

I was just about to close the gate at the hall last week when I met one of our 'regulars' recipents of food parcels. I was saying earlier that day that I hadn't seen this man for ages. In fact, this man hadn't been in for quite a few months and I wondered whether he had been put off from coming in because he had been refused a food parcel after complaining to us that he had only recieved a few tins of food from one of the local churches.

I discovered the real reason why we hadn't seen him for so long and that was because he had been seriously ill with a brain tumour. He was very eager to introduce me to his nephew, and introduced me as "Rhonda, my friend"! He then quickly invited me round to his flat for a coffee. I wonder whether this man is desperate for friendship, and so anyone who is nice to him at anytime becomes his friend. I wonder if Bram would go round to his flat to see him, he's used to alcoholics.

Update

God is good! I led the meeting this morning nerve free, and people responded well when invited to. Although on the walk back from Greig House after the meeting I realised that I had to preached a sermon for myself!

Answer to my Problem

I have been thinking today about what I said yesterday on here about not liking to lead meetings here. I think this is because for the last 2 years we have had some really good meetings, and I don't think that I can match these high standards set by Gordon, Kate, and the other meeting leaders that we have had here. All that I can do is remember that I am not Gordon, or Kate, or any of the others. I am Rhonda Hayes. I am the person required for tomorrow. Please think of me. Oh, and thanks Roz for the image that will definitely stick in my mind about a naked congregation! AAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

How Far Can I See part 2

it's official, I only have 2 weeks left of employment. after that, I will never be employed again. It seems strange thinking about that. In 3 weeks, I will enter the Salvation Army Training College as a Cadet of the God's Fellow Workers session. At the minute, this is only as far into the future that I can see. It makes a change for me to know what I'm doing in 3 weeks time!

For today and tomorrow, my attention is on Sunday. I am leading the meeting here at Poplar Corps, and luckily for me it is a Bank Holiday weekend so there won't be that many people at the meeting. I'm not too keen on leading meetings here, I don't know why, I just prefer leading them at my home corps. I think at my home corps, I don't feel like people listen to me as much as they do here.

The reason that I gave this entry the title that I have done, is because I am working the title through in my thoughts in relation to my testimony that I have to give a week on Sunday at my divisional farewell.

How Far Can I See?

I have just been away on holiday to my Mum In Law's in Cornwall. We had a great time, and walked loads as we always do when we go on holiday. It was good to get away from it all, although it seemed that the whole of the UK was in Cornwall because it was so crowded. I liked to stand by the sea and look out to the horizon. My favourite question on holiday was "how far can we see?" When we stood by the sea the answer was about 13 miles. This didn't really impress me because I knew that if I was able to drive my car across the sea (which I know I obviously can't!) I would be able to reach the 13 miles in about half an hour. Whenever I came to a spot where I could see for miles and miles I would ask the same question, and usually get about the same answer.

As I looked towards the horizon, I realised exactly how insignificant I really am. I remembered the Psalm from the Bible that says "What is man that you are mindful of him?" It's funny how I felt so insignificant among the countryside. I pass by lots and lots of people every day here in London, and the thought has never crossed my mind, but suddenly, when faced with a vast expanse of countryside I realise how insignificant I really am. I really felt humble and thanked God every day for loving me even though I am only one person in this vast creation of His.

Significance of today.

Today has been rather significant for me for 2 reasons. The first is that today was the last day that I will be working with 5 - 9 year olds in the Paradise Zone context. The second is that today my marching orders for College arrived today, so it is all official, I have a room and eppaulettes!

So a big thank you to Roz, Emma, Keeley, Thomas, Sarah, Craig, Josh, and any others that I have forgotten to mention for making me feel welcome and needed in club, and for all your patience with me over the past 2 years!

Who? What? Where? When?

My head is spinning tonight. I arrived back to the hall from a trip with Kids club to a place called Discover in stratford, and was greeted with lots of noise. I had lots of people from the luncheon club wanting to talk to me. Oh the joys of being popular! Patrick was walking around banging the bottom of a bin like it was drum, and one of the luncheon club members "playing" the piano practicing for Christmas Day. (This lady always plays a tune on the piano as part of the after dinner entertainments.)

There are times at Poplar where it is quiet, and there are also times like today when it can get very noisy. It's good that we have a mixture of both. I also love the fact that there is a place for everyone at Poplar Salvation Army whether they are quiet, or noisy.

Amongst all this chaos my head is spinning. I have 1 month and a week left working here. I have lots of uncertainties going around my head. I wonder whether I will cope at college. I hope that I will never forget lessons that I have learned whilst working for the Corps. I am sure that I will never forget the people. Deep down I don't want to leave, but I know that it is the right time to go to college.

I hope that this post is not too confusing for you. Maybe it would have been better if I had posted it after my mind had settled down.