Keep on Believng.

I have been thinking about my not liking leading meetings this week, and this song from the Salvation Army song book came to my mind. it's song number 773.

1.
When you feel weakest, dangers surround,
Subtle temptations, troubles abound,
Nothing seems hopeful, nothing seems glad,
All is despairing, everything sad:

Chorus

Keep on believing, Jesus is near;
Keep on believing, there's nothing to fear;
Keep on believing, this is the way;
Faith in the night as well as the day.

2.
If all were easy, if all were bright,
Where would the cross be, and where the fight?
But in the hardness, God gives to you
Chances of proving that you are true.

3.
God is your wisdom, God is your might,
God's ever near you, guiding aright;
He understands you, knows all you need;
Trusting in him you'll surely succeed.

4.
Let us press on then, never despair,
Live above feeling, victory's there;
Jesus can keep us so near to him
That nevermore our faith shall grow dim.

Lucy Milward Booth-Hellberg (1868-1953)

I have claimed those words for myself recently. If everything was easy, I might not rely on God so much. I think that these words will be especially relevant to me for the next couple of years whilst I am in college. I know that I will struggle academically, but I always have done. I am more a practical hands on kind of person. My brother gor all the brains in my family. He's an accountant, but he is him, and I am me.

An invitation for a coffee

I was just about to close the gate at the hall last week when I met one of our 'regulars' recipents of food parcels. I was saying earlier that day that I hadn't seen this man for ages. In fact, this man hadn't been in for quite a few months and I wondered whether he had been put off from coming in because he had been refused a food parcel after complaining to us that he had only recieved a few tins of food from one of the local churches.

I discovered the real reason why we hadn't seen him for so long and that was because he had been seriously ill with a brain tumour. He was very eager to introduce me to his nephew, and introduced me as "Rhonda, my friend"! He then quickly invited me round to his flat for a coffee. I wonder whether this man is desperate for friendship, and so anyone who is nice to him at anytime becomes his friend. I wonder if Bram would go round to his flat to see him, he's used to alcoholics.

Update

God is good! I led the meeting this morning nerve free, and people responded well when invited to. Although on the walk back from Greig House after the meeting I realised that I had to preached a sermon for myself!

Answer to my Problem

I have been thinking today about what I said yesterday on here about not liking to lead meetings here. I think this is because for the last 2 years we have had some really good meetings, and I don't think that I can match these high standards set by Gordon, Kate, and the other meeting leaders that we have had here. All that I can do is remember that I am not Gordon, or Kate, or any of the others. I am Rhonda Hayes. I am the person required for tomorrow. Please think of me. Oh, and thanks Roz for the image that will definitely stick in my mind about a naked congregation! AAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

How Far Can I See part 2

it's official, I only have 2 weeks left of employment. after that, I will never be employed again. It seems strange thinking about that. In 3 weeks, I will enter the Salvation Army Training College as a Cadet of the God's Fellow Workers session. At the minute, this is only as far into the future that I can see. It makes a change for me to know what I'm doing in 3 weeks time!

For today and tomorrow, my attention is on Sunday. I am leading the meeting here at Poplar Corps, and luckily for me it is a Bank Holiday weekend so there won't be that many people at the meeting. I'm not too keen on leading meetings here, I don't know why, I just prefer leading them at my home corps. I think at my home corps, I don't feel like people listen to me as much as they do here.

The reason that I gave this entry the title that I have done, is because I am working the title through in my thoughts in relation to my testimony that I have to give a week on Sunday at my divisional farewell.

How Far Can I See?

I have just been away on holiday to my Mum In Law's in Cornwall. We had a great time, and walked loads as we always do when we go on holiday. It was good to get away from it all, although it seemed that the whole of the UK was in Cornwall because it was so crowded. I liked to stand by the sea and look out to the horizon. My favourite question on holiday was "how far can we see?" When we stood by the sea the answer was about 13 miles. This didn't really impress me because I knew that if I was able to drive my car across the sea (which I know I obviously can't!) I would be able to reach the 13 miles in about half an hour. Whenever I came to a spot where I could see for miles and miles I would ask the same question, and usually get about the same answer.

As I looked towards the horizon, I realised exactly how insignificant I really am. I remembered the Psalm from the Bible that says "What is man that you are mindful of him?" It's funny how I felt so insignificant among the countryside. I pass by lots and lots of people every day here in London, and the thought has never crossed my mind, but suddenly, when faced with a vast expanse of countryside I realise how insignificant I really am. I really felt humble and thanked God every day for loving me even though I am only one person in this vast creation of His.

Significance of today.

Today has been rather significant for me for 2 reasons. The first is that today was the last day that I will be working with 5 - 9 year olds in the Paradise Zone context. The second is that today my marching orders for College arrived today, so it is all official, I have a room and eppaulettes!

So a big thank you to Roz, Emma, Keeley, Thomas, Sarah, Craig, Josh, and any others that I have forgotten to mention for making me feel welcome and needed in club, and for all your patience with me over the past 2 years!

Who? What? Where? When?

My head is spinning tonight. I arrived back to the hall from a trip with Kids club to a place called Discover in stratford, and was greeted with lots of noise. I had lots of people from the luncheon club wanting to talk to me. Oh the joys of being popular! Patrick was walking around banging the bottom of a bin like it was drum, and one of the luncheon club members "playing" the piano practicing for Christmas Day. (This lady always plays a tune on the piano as part of the after dinner entertainments.)

There are times at Poplar where it is quiet, and there are also times like today when it can get very noisy. It's good that we have a mixture of both. I also love the fact that there is a place for everyone at Poplar Salvation Army whether they are quiet, or noisy.

Amongst all this chaos my head is spinning. I have 1 month and a week left working here. I have lots of uncertainties going around my head. I wonder whether I will cope at college. I hope that I will never forget lessons that I have learned whilst working for the Corps. I am sure that I will never forget the people. Deep down I don't want to leave, but I know that it is the right time to go to college.

I hope that this post is not too confusing for you. Maybe it would have been better if I had posted it after my mind had settled down.

My Week.

I know a lot of people start their blog entries that occur more than a week after the previous entry with "I've had a busy week". This is why I put that long sentence in to start mine today! "It has been a busy week for me". I have been helping with junior club holiday club. It has been really good, and the time spent took me back to when I was a Childcare worker and also to when I ran JAM Club. Saying this I have really missed my usual daily chats with people who come into the Coffee Shop and Luncheon Club. In some ways this has helped me to realise what kind of work I feel that I most enjoy within the Corps. I enjoy working with Kids, but I also enjoy working with adults.

Panic's Over.

What a nightmare Mid week Worship turned out to be. Bram was supposed to be leading it, but rang me at the hall to say that he wouldn't be able to make it over to the Hall. I then went into panic mode, wondering whether I would be able to find something in my head that I could do. Then I had a great idea! I rang my CO who said that he would be over straight away to lead it. I knew that Gordon would be able to save the day!

Being overprotective.

We were just about to lock up and go home from the Hall when a young woman walked in eating Chicken and Chips. She asked for a food parcel, and so I went into the kitchen and put a few tins of food into a plastic bag for her. I don't like asking people why they want a food parcel, because I know that I would find it hard enough to ask a stranger for food without having to tell them what I had done with my money that had put me into this situation. I grudgingly gave her the bag of food, and off she went. The reason that I grudgingly gave her food was because I had a problem with asking for food (which is intended for people who don't have any food) when the person is eating. She came back 2 days later and bought herself breakfast, telling the kitchen staff that she hadn't eaten for 2 days. I am glad that I did give her what little we had because I don't know what her home situation is.

Even though I am very protective of my food stash in the cupboard that I keep for food parcels, whilst there is food in the cupboard for this purpose, I would never turn anyone away without some food because I would hate to find out that I had turned someone away who really didn't have anything.

Saying Goodbye.

I had a great day today at the Army. We said goodbye to the Cotterills, and Bram played along with everything that I suggested to him! I missed out on the meeting which was the main farewell because of problems with Greig House clients, so my highlights have to be times after the meeting. I am going to admit something now that I would get into trouble for saying at the corps. I love The Salvation and all it's little quirks, like marching in time, and anything that involves the Army flag! There, I've said it. I can say it now, because I won't be seeing the Cotterills again until September. (Oh dear! They will be my Spiritual Programme Directors. I'd better be careful or they will give me all the nasty jobs in college)

The reason I admitted that was because I encouraged Bram to use the Corps flag on two occasions today. The children were waving little brightly coloured flags and so I got Bram to wave the big Corps flag. I got spotted telling him to do it! Hmm, I need to be a bit more subtle next time. The next was a guard of honour for the Cotterill family with Bram holding the flag, Me, and our Cadets on placement saluting them out. It was Brilliant! I hope I get saluted out on the morning of my divisional farewell because the next time I go into the hall after the farewell I will be a Cadet!

Anyway, it was a great day, and I really hope that the Corps will give the new CO a chance to fit in with us. God has a perfect plan for Poplar Salvation Army, even though we won't always agree with Him. Something else I need to add is that although I do love The Salvation Army, the only reason that I am a member of it is because of my love my for God and the desire to do His will, which I believe for me is to be a part of The Salvation Army.

Road safety

At the minute there is a road safety advert on the TV about keeping to speed limits. This advert is so obviously meant to shock people. It shows a child of about 7 apparently lying dead at the side of the road. She is pale and has blood coming out of her ear. This always makes me feel really ill when it comes on. My brother was killed on the road about 28 years ago. From what I have been told, the woman who knocked him down wasn't speeding, Robert came out of nowhere and she didn't stand a chance of missing him. I agree that something needs to be done about speeding drivers, but wonder if showing this advert will help. I just think that it will upset people who have had a loved one die on the road because it will bring the memories back.

Whilst I'm in the mood for this rant, another thing that annoys me on the road is signs to tell you how many people have died on the road in accidents in a year. I drove to Skegness last Monday from my parents home and there is a stretch of road there that has these signs almost every 100 metres. Surely the money spent on these signs would be better spent on less distracting ways of keeping speed limits. I don't think speed camera's really work because people slow down at the camera then speed up again once the camera has been passed.

My Testimony

On Sunday, the afternoon meeting was centered around seeking God's will. This got me remembering the time prior to me offering for Officership. I was having quite a challenging time, and was seeking God's will for my life. During a Youth Councils in Leeds, I kind of felt God challenging me. They showed a Candidates video that I thought the people that were in it were looking at me. Then during the time of appeal where people go forward to receive God, or His help, or prayer I went forward. I explained to the person that came to pray with me that I wanted to do anything that God wanted me to do. The person said something that has stuck with me throughout. They told me to test the waters. I kind of knew at this point that God wanted me to be an officer. On the Monday, I rang my DHQ to ask for information and the person who looks after new Candidates, wanted to meet me for a chat. It all went from there really. Praise God it did!

The trouble with Multimedia Projectors.

I led prayers at the local hostel recently. The meeting went well, but I wanted to use the Multimedia projector to show a clip of the film Bruce Almighty. Trouble is, I couldn't get the projector to recognise the lap top. Give me an old fashioned TV and Video anyday! I had to laugh the incident off, and explain what the clip would have shown.

Candidates Update

It's all go at the minute on the Candidates front. I've got my fundraising event on Saturday, which is a table top sale, then my final interview at DHQ on Monday. (Hallelujah!!!!) I have also been asked to submit a 5o word testimony that will appear in The Salvationist. How do you sum up 6 years of applications in 50 words???? I think it will go along the lines of as God calls so he equips which has been my main experience in the process.

Thoughts on College

My thoughts have been centering around college this week. I was asked twice at the beginning of this week if I am looking forward to college. My reply both times was no. I am not looking forward to having to sit in lessons and write essays for the next two years. I have never studied at the level expected from college, and so this is what is scaring me. However, I am doing a correspondence course with the distance learning department at college and the lady who is marking my work is an ex college tutor. Her comments on my last piece of work say that my work is just about good enough for college! So I won't have too much trouble with this. What I am looking forward to about college is the greater opportunities that will be presented to me because of it. Like placements, etc. This will be good (I think). after all, I am a hands on person. I love my job at Poplar Corps. I get to speak to so many different people. My CO's at the minute have been apointed to the college as Spiritual Programme Directors so at least I will know someone.

ALL There Is of Me

I was walking down the road this week thinking of how different Poplar is from my home town. I was wishing I was back home in the midlands. Then when I got back to my house, I put a CD on. A song started playing. The words of the Chorus are

All there is of me, Lord,
All there is of me,
Time and talents,
day by day,
All I bring to thee;
All there is of me, Lord,
All there is of me,
On thine altar here I lay
All there is of me.

I realised why I am here. This is where God wants me. I am actually happy here, in case anyone thinks differently. But it was just a time that I needed to give my all to God. And since this moment, I have found it easier to sit and study. I've even found it easier to find time to read. I have rediscovered that my life is all about God.

Folkestone

Today we went on an adventure to Folkestone. We had never been here before, but because it is bank holiday here in England I decided to go out for the day. I got the map out, saw that Folkestone wasn't too far away and so it was decided.

Because I had no preconceptions of what Folkestone would be like I wasn't disapointed. What I saw was a town with two sides. There is the old side, which has run down buildings, disused fairground rides, and a harbour. Where, by the way, you can buy some nice fresh fish. Then there is the new side of town. This is not as new and posh as the Canary Wharf side of Poplar, but nevertheless, is quite asthetically acceptable. It has some nice shops. The downside for me was that there were area's where it smelled like people had used the walls and pavements as toilets. Also, as someone who had never been there before, I needed to see the road signs. I couldn't see them clearly because the tree's needed a good trim!

Bram got all excited because Folkestone is where the Salvation Army musical Glory is based. So he was able to see first hand the area's that Glory tells of. I admit that I was a little bit interested as well, but didn't let on. Today we seemed to be more interested in the SA history in Folkestone. We pass the site of the first SA hostel weekly. (Bram passes it everyday) We are members of the oldest existing Corps in the world, and both enter the hall almost daily. I guess the excitement of this has worn off now after 2 years of being here. For me now, the excitement is that we average around 50 worshippers on Sunday mornings. God has been good. I was given the opportunity to lead worship yesterday for these 50 people. I pray that I didn't let God down. We can look back, but it is equally as important to look around now, and look forward to the future.

Sound Advice

I was at our divisional International Praise event on Saturday. The speaker invited an Officer from Nigeria to come and tell of his experiences in Nigeria. This officer has commenced around 50 corps in Nigeria. Most of the corps that he started were in area's that have got a big Muslim population. He told us that in each area, he identified a need, which was that a school was needed. So he set up schools. This led to him being able to commence churches. The Speaker invited the man to tell us what the key is to working in these communities. All the Officer said was that it is about relationships. During my time here I have noticed that building relationships is at the heart of our church. I realised today that I have created some good relationships with breakfast club people. I pray that because of our example to these people they will come to know Jesus, the reason for our work.