Caught in a trap.

When I started college, one of my biggest fears was that I would get caught up in the trap of comparing my results for my essays. Slowly but surely my marks have improved, and as they get higher I then expect higher marks or my essays. I am now caught in this trap. If I get lower than a certain mark for an essay I am disappointed, which my rational mind knows is a silly way to be, but it doesn't stop me being this way!

Update

I have now been at Clapton 4 times. This seems weird to write, because in some ways it feels like I have always been there. Today I was working in the kitchen, and it all seemed really natural, not like a new job at all. Well, except for when I gave somebody 1 piece of toast when it should have been 2, but it was handled graciously.

I am really conscious that I can hide away from people in the kitchen, or in general busyness, which is something that is very easy for me to do. This is instead of the more difficult task of talking to people.

My First day of Placement

My mind is all over the place tonight because I had my first day of placement today. It started well with me missing the turning to go into the car park for the corps on my way there this morning, and then every subsequent journey had a wrong turn in it somewhere!

I had a really long first day starting at 8:45am and finishing at 8:30pm with 1 hour break in the middle, but I am, and always have been fully aware that this is what ministry can be like sometimes. Although, this was my fault because I offered to go to Hoxton Corps tonight to help with the youth group that happens there.

All in all the day has been good, with lots of things to take in, but I'm sure that this summer will be ok, and I am working with really positive people so I hope that this rubs off on me.

The End of my First Year of Training

Today has marked the end of my first year of training. In 1 year and 1 week I will be a commissioned Captain. I know almost all of my posts have spoken of how quick the time has gone, so I will not say any more on this subject.

Tomorrow I start my summer placement at Clapton Corps in Hackney. Hackney is, I think, one of the poorest boroughs in London, and I think is going to be similar to Tower Hamlets in this. It seems strange that I am on my summer placement because I have seen a lot of Cadets come to my corps on their summer placements, and now it's my turn. The good thing to come out of this is that I should have lots to blog about, because I am aware that I have rarely blogged since starting college.

Holiness

Today in College we were thinking about holiness. For Salvationists, this is a pretty important thing to think about. However, in my lifetime, I can only remember 1 sermon being preached on the subject of holiness. I wonder why this is? Is it because people have not felt confident enough in their knowledge of the subject to preach on it? Ok, so Officers have preached on aspects of holiness, but the actual word 'holiness' has rarely been said.

Vicky, a Cadet who was on meeting leadership placement with me preached an excellent sermon on the subject, and it seemed to be just what the corps needed on that particular Sunday.

Today's illustration was really good, even though it seemed a strange thing to do at the time. We were all asked to come to class today in smart/ casual dress. This meant no uniforms! Shock horror! Cadets in class but not in uniform! What is the college coming to??? We had no idea why we had been asked to wear our own clothes, and it seemed that it had got people speculating as to why we were not in uniform. This is what a life of holiness should be like. We are so different that people do not understand why we are like we are.

Am I Getting Old?

It's only 3 or 4 weeks until we go out on our summer placement, and I can't believe how quickly my 1st year of training has flown by. as Cadets, we have to do a personal revue of how we feel that we have progressed during training. My first one was quite difficult, because it was quite early on in training, but the second was a lot easier to do. I have learned a lot during my time in College, but more importantly God has done a lot in my life as well.

When I entered college, everyone seemed to be talking about the fact that we would leave different people to the people that we were when we went in. This reminded me of the joke that says, when you enter college they fill your mouths with marbles, and take them out one by one until they are all gone, and then they commission you. Ok, it was funnier when I was told it, but I'm not good at retelling jokes. Back to my point! I was a bit annoyed by the talk of leaving transformed people, because I felt that surely someone had faith in me to be an officer as the person I was, so why did I need to change? Now as a wiser person I realise that as a Christian, God needs to continually transform us inside, and this is what this change is all about.

Computer Literate?

I thought that I was quite good with computers until Saturday. How wrong could I be? Well, OK, I did literally blow up a computer a few years back, but now I know that the sliding switch at the back is actually to alter the power input and too much power makes the computer go bang!

On Saturday I took myself off to PC World, and after having wireless broadband in my house for about 1 year, I finally realised that you do not have to have a computer plugged into the main wireless box to get a wireless reception! I puzzled the poor bloke who was trying to help my predicament, but I am really grateful to him, because he saved us a lot of money. And here I was thinking that every shop only wants your money! My faith in PC World and shops in general has been restored.

The post with no name...

I can't believe it is now May. I am really slacking with this blogging thing. Since I last posted I have been on my weeks Corps placement to Brighton which was brilliant, been on holiday to St Ives which was a good break, and celebrated my 30th birthday. I am now officially no longer a youth in the eyes of The Salvation Army. Quite a scary thought!

I celebrated my birthday in style with me preaching at Wickford which is my Sunday meetings placement. For anyone interested I preached on the lessons learned from Mary's life and obedience to God. This was good to look into because it was prepared during Easter, and it brought it a whole new perspective to Easter for me. If Mary hadn't said yes to God 30 years beforehand she would never have had to face the agony of seeing her firstborn son dying on the cross. But if she hadn't said yes, God's plan for salvation may not have been fulfilled either. I wonder where my saying yes to God's calling will lead...

My Week.

Apologies for lack of blogs recently, I had loads of essays to write n that took all of my creative energy, so there was none left for my poor blog.

This week has been really good. In fact I might stick my neck out and say that it was the second best week of training so far. My best week was the week spent in a Salvation Army hostel in November in case you were wondering. Anyway, back to this week. We had a full week of what is called Reaching People. Basically this is where we all sit in a class room and talk about how to reach people! This week has been good, and I have learned loads. However, my problem was with two of the speakers this week. They spoke about how they 'do mission' in their corps. These two people concerned me because they both said that they both stopped all of the social programme at their corps because they felt that God was telling them to. For me, I can see that there is a real danger in doing this. It is so easy to arrive at a corps, not enjoy doing some of the things involved in the programme so close it down and say that God wanted you to stop it and He wants you to pray instead.

Well, I'm off to Brighton on my week long corps placement now, so no blogging for another week. Bramwell has peace and quiet!

Not Recommened Reading

I read blogs all the time about books that the people are reading and how much they recommend them to everyone. Well, I got a book out of the college library last weekend and I certainly do not recommend it to anyone! It was really boring and seemed really pointless to me. The name of the book was "Urban God". It had short studies on how certain Bible passages related to life in the Inner City. So if you happen to read the this book, don't say I didn't warn you about it! Have a nice day!!!!

D Day

Today was the day that all second year cadets got their appointments. So now they know where they will be living in 5 months. I am not sure if I like the idea of knowing so far in advance, but then I am lucky because I don't have to organise schools for children and so could literally know where I'm going the day before I move in.

I have to say that I was slightly upset during this mornings lecture. This lecture was taking place at the same time that the second years got their appointments. I was sad that they were leaving, and my comfort blanket of having these people that I knew around. Also, I was slightly jealous because I wasn't moving as well! I know, jealousy isn't good for a Cadet. And yes, I do love my life in Poplar, but I wanted to be a part of the excitement of the day.

Update

I haven't really had much happening in my life that I could blog about lately. College has been just College. I haven't had any flashes of inspiration that I could share with anyone. Although I wonder if Bram would disagree with that. When something has really got to me during a lecture, or inspired me I have shared it with him. So that is the reason I haven't blogged for a while. Oh the joys of having a mundane life!

When I first applied to go to college I didn't know what I was applying for. By that I mean that I didn't really know what being a Cadet was all about. I didn't really think about the college part of the application. My mind was fixed on the being an officer part and the College part of the application was pushed to the back of my mind.

I wouldn't consider myself to be academic, and certainly don't enjoy studying, but this is all part of the deal. I am enjoying my time in college and have made some really good friends there. There have been times when I have not understood why we have just been lectured on something, but I always try to look at the bigger picture. Once I do this, I come to realise why we have been taught something. We never know what is in the future, but trust that whatever it is will turn out ok in the end.

Echoes and Memories

This blog is not about Bramwell Booth (he wrote a book called Echoes and Memories which is used sometimes in college), it is about Rhonda Hayes! Tonight I have been a bit bored and found myself googling "Fraggle Rock". This was a kids TV programme when I was small. I used to avidly watch every episode of this programme. I went a school called 'Castle Rock', and we got called Fraggles because of this. Whilst Googling this, I came across another favourite programme from my programme. This was "Button Moon". I surprised myself when talking about Button Moon, because 20 years later I can remember the theme tune, and could remember Characters names, and what happened in the story!

This has now got me thinking about what a good tool memory is. We are able to remember necessary things, and also useless things. We remember all the time. Our Creator God is totally amazing. He has made us all perfect, and also unique. I also know that people have bad memories of things, but we are also given the tools to deal with this in whatever way is best for us.

The Mocked Prophet.

The Bible makes me laugh sometimes. I’m not sure if I should really be laughing at God’s holy word, but this story really made me laugh. It’s in 2 Kings 2:23-25. “Elisha left Jericho and went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, a group of boys from the town began mocking and making fun of him. “Go away, baldy!” they chanted. “Go away, baldy!” Elisha turned around and looked at them, and he cursed them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of them. From there Elisha went to Mount Carmel and finally returned to Samaria.” It’s really good having such an extensive range of books at the library at the Training College. We have a lot of bible commentaries, and after reading a few of these say that this story illustrates that you shouldn’t mock God’s prophets. This reminds me of when I worked in a supermarket before I got married. Sometimes people would ridicule me. Not for my beliefs or anything, but as a joke. I used to laugh along with them but never cursed them as Elisha did, but something bad would always happen to them after they had ridiculed me! Am I a prophet???

Bible Revelation

I have grown up with parents who were (and still are) members of The Salvation army. I start with this comment because I am going to inflict you with my latest revelation. And also because it is less boring than starting with my next sentence.

I went to the British Museum on Saturday. I don't know much about this museum except that it is in London and is free entry. But beware of the coffee shop which is VERY expensive! Anyway, back to the revelation of mine. In the British museum there is an exhibition on Egypt and artifacts gathered from the palaces there. Within this collection there is actual stone decoration taken from the palace of Sennacherib. This man has a mention in the Bible in 2 Kings 17 (I looked this up this afternoon when I should have been listening to a sermon in college). The revelation is this, that the Bible is not just a manual for living, it is also a history book! It talks about people and events that can actually be proven to have happened.

This revelation might not be that exciting to most other people, but I am blown away by this. I was brought up to believe that the Bible was a guide book for living. I had never been told that stories and events could be proven. I was happy in my blind faith. I was happy to believe in the truths behind the stories. I am still finding it difficult to actually picture Jesus as a real man, even though I believe that he was, but I am working on this.

Life Goes On

Christmas this year has been interesting. I did some carroling on Oxford Street in London for the Training College, and also helped out Poplar Corps with carols at Canary Wharf and our local market. Christmas isn't Christmas with playing carols in a small band!

My thoughts have been centred around the less peaceful images of Christmas. Because Jesus was born (and Herod didn't want Him), a whole generation of babies were murdered in the hope that Herod had got the right baby. Another of these images in my mind is of Mary, the unmarried mother of the Christ child. Because of her obedience to God she became an outcast in society. Some sources even state that she ran the risk of being stoned to death because of being an unmarried mother. Why did God choose her if He knew that she would be put in such a position? It may be her willingness to obey God. Also, Prophecies state that the Messiah would be born of a Virgin.

And now onto the nice things about Christmas! Christmas day was spent at the Army doing all kinds of things. I totally loved the day. We had around 100 (or so Bram said) people. We ran out of tables in the main hall and so had to set one up in the lounge. I had loads of good, positive conversations with only one moan. Although my moan is that I was called "Major"! I'm not even out of College yet!

Then Boxing Day I went to my brothers house and spent some time with him, his wife, and my niece. I loved singing to her and making her smile.

The day after Bram and I went shopping with my Dad in Coalville town centre. It just seemed so surreal. It was like people had forgotten that Christmas had only been 2 days ago. Life went on as normal for them. Has Christmas changed me? In some ways it has, but I am being changed every day into what God wants me to be.

Childhood Memories

As I was driving home yesterday, out of nowhere I started to sing a song that we sang in the Singing Company (a childrens choir in The Salvation Army). This happens quite often that a song just pops into my head for no apparent reason. But yesterday this made quite an impact on me because I started thinking about whether the others who sang with me have this happen to them. Am I just thinking of them because of what I am doing with my life, or if I had left The Salvation Army, and God if I would still be singing these songs?

Stranger Than Fiction

I have been to the pictures again! It is getting to be a regular event. I go to the cinema once a year, and it is always around Christmas time. Last years film was Chronicles of Narnia, and this years film is Stranger Than Fiction.

The film was good, but I laughed at the wrong moment! Towards the end the main character gets hit by a bus, and I admit that I found this quite funny. This is what the Cinema says about the film "Harold Crick is IRS Agent whose world is turned upside-down when he begins to hear his life being chronicled by a narrator only he can hear. The Narrator, Kay Eiffel, an author of tragic novels, is struggling to complete her latest and best book, unaware that her protagonist is alive and uncontrollably guided by her words. Fiction and reality collide when the bewildered and hilariously resistant Harold hears the Narrator say that events have been set in motion that will lead to his imminent death."

This had resonances of the Easter story for me. Jesus knew that He ha dto die in order for the story of Salvation to be fulfilled, and didn't want to. And Harold Crick knew that he had to die in order for the story to be good.

The Final Countdown.

We were reminded yesterday in church that Christmas is coming very quickly and we need to be prepared for everything that Christmas brings. When it comes to Christmas I sometimes wish that I was still a small child, because all I had to worry bout was what Santa would bring me. As an adult I have lots more preparations that need to be done. But Christmas here in Poplar is so rewarding. We have a meal for around 80 people at the Corps. They mainly seem to be enjoying themselves, and we have lots of happy memories to keep us going for another year. I say that they seem to be enjoying themselves because they do moan quite a bit. But that's all part of a 'family' Christmas.

Happy Christmas everyone :-)

Funny sayings

This week I had a conversation with someone from my year at college and he said quite innocently "isn't it funny how you look everywhere for something and it's always in the last box you look in". This comment really made me laugh because it's obviously going to be in the last place you look. You wouldn't need to look anywhere else when you have found it!