Busyness

Busyness is such an understatement describing the day I've had today! I love being busy, but there have been times today that it has just been ridiculous! I've had room bookings to deal with, things to go out and buy for our charity shop, And all sorts of other things going on around me!

I think one of my highlights of today has to be the time I gave to our lunch club people just talking to them. There are a few people who come early just so that they can break up their day. The least I can do is give them a few minutes of my time. They usually teach me a thing or two!

It's Kids Club tonight. I wonder what's going to happen there tonight.

Despite today being so hectic, God was right there in the middle, even when I wasn;t listening.

Searching for Peace

As I've said in an earlier blog, I've been worrying about something since the weekend. Today, I finally found the peace within the situation although I wasn't really thinking about it. God is right in the middle of our situation, and I know He's in control.

Maybe this was to prepare me for the stress I got later! I can now see why people are so against Poplar Harca. I don't think the left hand knows what the right is doing. To find out what stressed me out, click http://captdoc1.blogspot.com

Ralph's funeral

Today was Ralph's funeral. Ralph visited our coffee shop regularly, and is someone I will never forget for a number of reasons. One of those is the conversations we had. He spoke with a Newcastle accent, and also spoke really fast which people found difficult to understand. Oh yeah, he also spoke quietly, which posed another problem. But Ralph just came to us for a friendly face. He didn't come for help with anything, but wanted to have normal conversations with people.

Bram did his funeral, and the sad part is that only Bram, and the funeral director were there. This man, who had become part of my life, must also have been part of a lot of people's life's. We are here for these kind of people, the one's who have no one else in their lives.

For Bram's account of the funeral, please go to http://captdoc1.blogspot.com

Worry, worry, worry

Today I have been thinking again about my future. This causes me to worry. What will God ask of me? Where will he take me? I have a dread in my mind about something that may happen to me. The thing is, that I could say no if this thing is proposed to me, so why do I worry about it? So many questions, but the thing to remember is that I'm in God's hands. That should give me confidence to face anything that I may face in the future.

This blog wasn't meant to be quite so cryptic! I've got a headache now, where's the Paracetamols????

Looking back

I had to go to Queens Hospital, Burton on Trent, Staffs yesterday. The appointment was at 9am so I stayed over at my Mums on Thursday night. I had a real trip down menory lane. On Thursday, we went for a meal at a place that I used to go to regularly. (Not McDs!!!) I saw someone there I used to work with, although I'm not sure he recognised me. Then yesterday I partook of my favourite pastime, SHOPPING. Me and my Mum wen t shopping in Burton. I used to go there lots before I was married. My life was completely different then to how it is now. It's nice to indulge in things you really enjoy. Shopping with Bram is nothing like shopping with my Mum. He drags on behind, getting on my nerves, commenting on the things I want to buy. My Mum encourages me to get things! Mind you, she also pays a lot of the time as well.

It's good to look back to how things used to be somethings. I think it helps you to reassess the person you have become, and of course the reasons you are how you are. I think that Lots wife turned into a pillar of salt when she looked back at the burning city of Sodom, because she was told not to look back, but move forward quickly.

Reflections on Reflections.

Last night it was my turn to lead reflections before kids club. We've started doing reflections before kids club, and take it in turns to lead them. For mine I used the poem If a child lives with.

If a Child Lives With...
If a child lives with criticism… He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility… He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule… He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with jealousy… He learns to feel guilty.
But If a child lives with tolerance… He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement… He learns self-confidence.
If a child lives with praise… He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness… He learns justice.
If a child lives with approval… He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with security… He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship… He learns to find love in the world.

I then went on to say that children are watching us all the time and learning from us. In the same way, adults are learning from us. They look at us and see the way Christians live their lives.

This week I have had to say no to a couple of people because they have wanted something that I feel would not be good for them (Or The Salvation Army here in the long run). They both involved the loan of money. The first one had just been given a bag of tinned food, then he left the building, then returned quickly asking to borrow £1.50. I know this is not a lot of money, but this person is a known alcoholic. I feel that I would only be funding his alcohol addiction, and that is not what we are about here. Besides which, through past experiences of others at the centre, £1.50 doesn't stay that amount. The person will probably then want to borrow more and more money until it becomes impossible for them to pay it back. This person was begging me to borrow it, I think trying to wear me down, but that doesn't work with me, it just makes me cross and more adament that I'm not going to lend money to them.

The other instance was someone well known to us. He has mental health issues, and also has a problem with budgeting his money. On Monday Bram had promised him a dinner, but after telling our cook, was told that he couldn't have one. Because Bram had promised him a dinner, I felt obliged to provide him with a meal of some kind, so I let him have a breakfast on the promise that he would pay us for it on Thursday. This would be ok, but yesterday he wanted another breakfast on the same terms. I then had to explain why I did it on Monday, but couldn't do it on Tuesday.

After thinking these two instances through, it left me wondering the old question What Would Jesus Do? Jesus had the benefit of being God, and so saw things through God's eyes. Jesus would know what the consequences of giving people what they asked for was. I just wonder He would have done in these instances.

The Future

I've been thinking this weekend about what my future has in store for me. I don't know what will happen to me tomorrow, never mind in 5 years time. I was at the welcome to the High Council (The group that meets together to elect the next General of The salvation Army) on saturday, and was wondering whether Bram and I would ever be on it. Now this sounds big headed, and at the minute I know that I don't have the skills to lead a whole territory, but who knows what has happened to the members in their lives to prepare them for this current moment in time. God can, and does use anyone who is willing to be used in any way for Him.

Another thing that I wonder about is overseas service. Bram is a qualified Psychiatrist, and so has specialist skills. All I can say is that I am willing to go wherever God sends us. God has a plan for our lives, and it says in Jeremiah 29:11 'For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.' (New Living Translation) It also says in Proverbs 16:9 "We make our own plans, but the Lord decides where we will go. " (CEV) This last verse is important because no matter what we plan, if God hasn't planned it, then we will fail.

Neat and Tidy

I set the chairs today in our hall ready for worship on Sunday. It's strangely satisfying getting the rows lined up, making sure each row is straight and in line with the one in front. If I don't, I only end up not being able to concentrate on worship on Sundays because I'm worrying about out of place chairs! Hmmmmm, I need to get some new interests in life!!!!

Things will never be the same.

Today I've been thinking about how to advertise the Luncheon Club. I've come up with lots of different idea's, which I've also thought through, and thought of the consequences. I also need to think about why I want the Luncheon Club to grow. It's not about raising our profile within the Salvation Army, but there is a deep need for friendship within our area which I think we can provide. So I'm going to work through the list, and trust God to do His will within our Corps.

What's been happening

After finishing yesterdays post, I realised that I haven't posted since November last year, so here's a quick summary of December. The first weekend in December, I had my assessment conference. This is a weekend of interviews, written projects, and group work that I had to do as part of my application to become a Salvation Army officer. I was really nervous when I arrived, which didn't help, because I was also about ten minutes late, even though the college is only about half an hours drive away. But as the Saturday went on, I began to relax. There were a couple of the assessors that I knew, which helped me to relax, and also, I wasn't the last to arrive! The last person to arrive was a friend of mine, and so now I was happy. The weekend was so relaxing it was unbelievable. We had a timetable to let us know when our interviews were and where, but after that, it was up to us to organise our time to complete written work. My result from my assessment conference is that I have been recommended for training!

December is also the time of advent. So in true Salvation Army style, our little band was out carroling. But also, our Corps organises a meal on Christmas day,and also puts on some entertainment. The day is mainly for old people, or people who would be on their own on Christmas day. December seems to be a month of parties. The Kids club party was fancy dress, and I went as a bear. I was going to go as a reindeer, but we already had 2, so I opted for a bear. We also had a parent and toddlers party, and a Christmas meal for our Lunch Club and the volunteers, which went well. Christmas is such a busy time that if we're not careful, we lose sight of the reason we celebrate.

Today.

Today so far has been interesting. It started off with me trying to think how and where to advertise Luncheon Club. Then our cook went home and so I needed to help with Parent and Toddlers which I don't really enjoy, but hay, we all have to do things we don't want to do sometimes!

This evening I've been avoiding writing an essay. I know I need to do it, I also know I can do it, but I just don't have the motivation. So instead, tonight was spent ironing clothes and watching TV. The lengths I'll go to to avoid doing somerthing!!!

I'm a spoiled brat!

For the past year or so, I've wanted to get a car of my own. Before I moved to London I sold my precious car, thinking that I wouldn't need one, but more recently I've yearned after getting my own car. I now have a Perodua Kelisa, which if I'm honest, was Bram's choice of car. I'd never heard of them, but decided that if I wanted a car then I just had to go along with what he wanted. I'm glad that I got it on Saturday, because I was able to go to my cousin's enrollment as a soldier of the Salvation Army which was really good that he's finally made the decision to commit himself to God and the church.

Update

I was walking through the market place on Thursday and met the lady who had come to me for help with moving on Monday. She approached me, and had a broad smile on her face. I knew this had to be good news! She told me that she had saught legal advice and now didn't have to move. Her happiness spread to me. I felt like I had actually done some good in this womans life, even though she didn't need the telephone numbers that I had given to her. It felt good to have an update and be a part of this womans life.

What can we do?

I finished my last post by saying that no two days are ever the same. Well, yesterday all the ministers left me to go on retreat in Derbyshire. A lady came in to our centre asking if we had someone who would drive a van to help her move house. I helped her as much as I could, but still felt that my help was not enough because I wasn't able to help her with a van driver. I hope that I managed to help by calming her down and finding prices for van hire, and man with a van. I guess I will never find out. People walk in and walk out of our centre on a daily basis. Most of them come back, but a lot we only see when they have specific needs. All I can do is pray for these people.

What a week!!!!

I'm glad it's Friday because it's been such a strange, busy week. It started with Patrick stealing the show in church on Saturday evening with his rendition of Now The Day Is Over, then he got all excited and threw a cake at Kate for spoiling his fun on Sunday, then has been angry all week. One of our other characters turned up at the end of the service on Sunday morning dressed in the classic style of an excentric English Gentleman complete with cravat, and Handkerchief coming out of his top pocket! I couldn't look at him, never mind talk to him I was so amused by him!!! The week has got busier and busier, and crazier, and crazier! It finished with me cooking the breakfasts and dinner yesterday for the breakfast cafe and Luncheon Club. We were so busy yesterday that people couldn't get into the car park with their prams and we had to open the side gate. I couldn't understand how I was managing to keep so calm. It wasn't until I was in bed last night thinking about the day that I realised that God was keeping me calm helping me to cope with the all the busyness of cooking breakfasts, setting up the room for Parent and Toddlers, and everything else that the day was bringing. God wasn't making Himself known, but He was there with me and with everything that we were doing in His name. I guess when we ask Him to be with us we expect Him, but when He turns up unnanounced, we don't always realise He was here until afterwards. I'm so glad that I am able to do what I do, no two days are ever the same.

Being told off

I'm reading a book at the minute by General william Booth called Letters to Soldiers. I felt well and truly told off by the General the other night because he was telling the people off for being shy. This is something that I have a problem with. I just find it difficult chatting with new people, I find it hard to think of things to say, and worry that I look silly for saying silly things. But the really strange thing is that at work, if someone comes in wanting help I can talk to them really easily! The general said that the people shouldn't worry about looking silly in front of people when they are working for God. This made me think. There's times when I sit at home going over things that have happened in the day, and I really beat myself up about it. I think this is something that I need to work on in myself.

No excuses

As I was growing up, I was, and still are at times, the master of excuse making! If anything went wrong and I got the blame an excuse would come out straight away! Although when I was in the infants at primary school I used to just wander round the room and when asked what I was doing I wouldn't have an excuse.

Anyway, I don't have any excuses for not blogging for the past week, I just haven't been inspired. I can't even say I've been busy because I haven't! Well anyway, I was talking last night to someone about problems. My friend said that Jesus must have broad shoulders because He is able to bear the worlsd problems on them. That made me think. Maybe our problems seem big to us, but when put into the hands of the one who can do the impossible, they become extremely small. I don't know, just a thought.

Reflections

I've not long come back from a Salvation Army holiday at Butlins, Bognor Regis, and I am really really tired! I really don't know what I've done all week except band practice, going to band and songster festivals, and the late night sing a long. I got out of bed around 8 am and didn't go to bed until after midnight. This is highly unusual for me because I'm usually in bed around 10pm.

I don't think there was an official theme for the week, but one that kept coming up was evangelism. I think it's all too easy to get fired up for evangelism, but it's a lot more difficult to actually do it when you're back home in familiar surroundings with people you actually know. I don't really have this problem because my job involves being there for people in my community when they need me most, but I wonder how many of the people will actually do anything about what they've learnt at Butlins. During the Sunday meetings I felt encouraged that old people were going forward to pray at the front in response to God's promptings. Throughout my life I've always had the impression that old people either have their spiritual lives sorted out with God or just not bothered about Him. I'm glad that this has been shown as not always being the case.

Looking back

I was looking through my prayer diary last night at the first couple of entries in it. It made me smile because it said things like I'd upset Bram and things. This obviously made an impression on me if I felt the need to pray about it! I was also upset because I hadn't spoken to anyone in church and felt let down with myself because I hadn't been confident enough to make the first move! I don't have these problems anymore. I can always find some subject to talk to people about, but then I do see them in the week at work and things. As for the upsetting Bram thing, well, we've been married 18 months now so am past the honeymoon period! If I upset him then that's what life is about.

During the collection in church this morning the sound man played a song called "I'll not turn back" This song was appropriate for my life today, and really felt God speaking to me through. There's a line in it that says I'm called to live, to love, and save the lost. This was my feelings when I started my diary last December, and still are today.