Grace

I was in the office today, and Bram asked me for a sweet. I then asked what he'd done for me that day, to which he said nothing, but I should give him a sweet because of grace. I feel that I need to add that I'm not a selfish person, I was only messing about, but Bram's answer got me thinking.
Isn't it a good job that when we pray, asking for things that God doesn't ask what we've done for Him that day, or week, or even month. He simply gives it to you if He thinks it's what you need. Thank God for grace :-)

I was collecting money today for The Salvation Army's Annual Appeal, which is a big time of collecting money in various places during September. A man came up to me to put some money in my box and said something that got my mind racing! In fact, it kept my mind occupied during the quiet times when no one wanted to put any money in my box. He said "It's not a lot, but it's all I've got" There is a story in the Bible about a child who gave all that he had to Jesus. This child though, gave everything he had, even before he'd taken what he wanted from it, and Jesus used it to feed 5000 people. Sometimes we sing a song with a chorus that says these words -

1.
And is it so? A gift from me
Dost thou, dear Lord, request?
Then speak thy will, whate'er it be:
Obeying, I am blest.

Chorus
I have not much to give thee, Lord,
For that great love which made thee mine:
I have not much to give thee, Lord,
But all I have is thine.

2.
And dost thou ask a gift from me:
The talents I possess?
Such as I have I give to thee
That others I may bless.

3.
And dost thou ask a gift from me:
The gift of passing time?
My hours I'll give, not grudgingly,
I feel by right they're thine.

4.
And dost thou ask a gift from me:
A loving, faithful heart?
'Tis thine, for thou on Calvary
For me with all didst part.

Richard Slater (1854-1939)

I feel that God deserves all that we can give to Him, after all, He gave everything He had to us. Our everything means before we take some out for ourselves, not what is left at end when we've finished with it.

Reluctance

I was reading an article in a magazine last night, and suddenly said out loud "That's me!" The article was written by a man who was talking about his reluctance to obey God's calling to full time ministry within The Salvation Army. This man put my mind at rest that I'm not alone in feeling this way. There are times when I don't want to be a Salvation Army officer, but during these times, I never doubt that it is what God wants from me. I don't even doubt my ability to do the job any more, because the job that I'm doing is similar to what a minister would do, although I know that a minister would do more. It's just that it's not what I would have chosen for my life if God didn't hadn't revealed his plans for me.

Where's the time gone?

Wow! It's Saturday already!!!!! This week has flown by! I haven't really done much this week either really! I'm leading the afternoon service tomorrow and I've had it planned since last week so I haven't had to bother with that. It's been busy at work and so I think that could be why it's flown. If the time keeps going like this, it'll be December before I know it!

What a day!

I'm glad today is nearly over! My church ministers are away, and so are the trainee ministers. (I think that's a correct term for them) This means that I'm in charge at church during the mornings because I'm the paid community worker in church. The morning was going quite well until a man who comes in regularly for help came in. He seems to have latched onto me which is quite scary. He comes in asking for me. Usually I will get one of the other workers to deal with him. (This is because he once asked me out for a meal after I gave him a food parcel and my husband said that I needed to keep my distance with him.) He tried to get my sympathy by kissing my hand which I pulled out of his grip quickly! I gave him what he wanted and he was on his way. It's funny how this kind of made me feel that my day wasn't going so well.

I then had to lead Mid Week worship. This a midweek service for anyone who wants to attend. This didn't last as long as I wanted it to, and two people fell asleep during it! Oh dear.

Emerging Hamsters

Henrietta escaped again this week! I thought that she needed her home cleaning out so I put her in her ball so that Bram could clean her out. Trouble is, Bram got so into doing something on the internet that he didn't realise that Henrietta was out of her ball! I had gone upstairs to have a bath, and when I came back down the stairs the ball was in the middle of the floor with the lid lying at the side of it but no Henrietta. I started calling her name, grabbed her treats (a trick I learned from a 9 year old) and when I caught sight of her, she was by the computer! She must have walked past Bram as he was so engrossed. I started putting a trail of treats from where she was to the ball, and sure enough, Henrietta followed the treats and got back in the ball.

Church people can be a little like my Henrietta. They long to escape what they see as the trappings of church, and when the church isn't looking, they make a run for it. As the church family, we should use "treats" to entice them back, although I don't think it would be as easy with people. Henrietta is a well behaved Hamster compared to some I've had in the past. She is very easy to put back in her home after escaping. Maybe if we catch the people before life away from God becomes too familiar it will be easier to get them back.

Are my Morals Too High?

I went to my parents at the weekend which was nice. I caught up with a few friends and family while I was there. I found it funny that my life has moved on so much since I left Coalville 18 months ago. Not only my life, but I've changed as a person as well. I hope I've changed for the better!

While I was at my parents I had a text message from a friend telling me she was leaving her husband to move in with her boyfriend. I found this difficult because I don't agree with moving from partner to partner. I think this was more the problem for me than the fact that she was leaving her husband. I couldn't offer my congratulations because I didn't feel happy for her! Needless to say I don't think she's my friend anymore, although I will try to make contact with her.

Paradise

Today the Paradise Zone (our Corps youth club) went to Paradise Park. I don't know where this is, but it's outside London. The kids had a good day. We fed the animals, went paddling in the paddling pool, then it was time to go home. It doesn't sound like we spent long there but we were there for 4 hours.

I was with a group of 5 year olds. I can now see why it's a good idea to wait for a while before I have my own kids! They're sooooooooooooo demanding! It's good to be able to offer these opportunities to these kids. Opportunities with no strings attached. These kids don't have to attend church to be able to be a part of our activities. Hmmmmmmm, I'm beginning to sound like Gordon from www.urbanarmy.blogspot.com! Scary!

Silence

Sometimes I'm not a big fan of silence, I don't always know what to do withmyself in the silence. I get bored and don't know what to do. I like to keepbusy because then I don't have to think. Silence is not something thathappens much in society today. We almost have entertainment on tap. We can switch the television on and be entertained by that, or the radio, or put aCD on to listen to. All of these things are good, but we still need time out from the world.This week I've been involved in a kids club at my Corps for children agedbetween 5 and 9. Silence has definitely not featured at any time during theclub, but this was good because it was a sign that the children are havingfun. But tonight I was sitting at reception at my local Salvation Army Detoxcentre and it was silent! Well, apart from the whirr of the computer and thefan behind me it was anyway. I had a song going round in my mind. The words are something like this -

In the secret in the quiet place
In the stillness
You are there
In the secret in the quiet hour I wait only for You
’Cause I want to know You more
I want to know You
I want to hear Your voice
I want to know You more
I want to touch You
I want to see Your face
I want to know You more

I am reaching for the highest goal
That I might receive the prize
Pressing onwards, pushing every hindrance aside
Out of my way
’Cause I want to know You more

It's good to be noisy, but it's also good to spend time In quiet so that we can rest in God's presence getting to know Him a little better.

Time Out

Today has been a good day. This morning everyone was really chatty and noisy but this afternoon was totally different. We had a prayer meeting this afternoon. A time to reflect on our needs and the needs of others. As usual my mind was wandering. I was thinking about my assessment conference in December. That's a big weekend in December, and the final result of it is whether you get accepted into training for Salvation Army officership or not. For some reason I was worrying about how I would feel afterwards. I wasn't wondering how I would feel during it though. I'm so strange sometimes! I decided that I would feel disappointed and gutted that I hadn't (or had) said certain things. The main thing for me to concentrate on now is preparing myself for it.

It was really good to be able to take time out of the busy week we've just had, and are going to have and concentrate on God. It's a biblical principle so why don't we do it more????

Worry

If God us not to worry, why does He give us so much to worry about? I worry that my study papers won't be in on time, worry about whether I will be accepted into training, worry about whether Henrietta will escape, worry about whether I will fall off my bike. As I type this all my worries come back.

I guess what brought this on is something I was reading last night. The Bible tells us to be still and know that God is God. The reading suggested that what was meant was to rest in God's presence. As we rest in God's presence and give all our worries to God we should remember that the Bible also says "Is anything too hard for the Lord?" When we allow God to do what He can do, amazing things happen!

I did it

I did it! I worked the Salvation Army emergency van! The electric went, we had no running water, but we coped. I just hope the people who had some food from us are ok today! It's funny how in emergency's everyone pulls together. I just wondered how the emergency van people during the war coped with serving teas amid sounds of bombs and gunfire! I guess they just got on with it praying for their protection!

Doing my bit.

Tomorrow I'm doing my bit for The Salvation Army Emergency services. I will be working on the emergency van providing tea, coffee, and a few cooked things. After agreeing to go on it I realised how difficult it would be to get to the van because of the chaos on the underground, so I got Bram to come on it with me. I always feel better when he's around. (Can't you tell we've only been married 17 months!!!!) I don't think it will be too busy so hopefully will have a good time on the van.

Since coming to Poplar I've done a couple of things that I've always wanted to do. I wanted to help out at a centre on Christmas day serving meals to people, and I did that last Christmas. I've also always wanted to help in an emergency van and get the chance to tomorrow!

God's timing

I've been a bit fed up today. I couldn't help thinking about plans that I made in the past that didn't come to fruition. When I first responded to God's calling to full time ministry within The Salvation Army as an Officer, I thought that God was telling me that I would be going into the training College in 2003. I felt certain that this was what God was planning for me. However, now, in 2005 with the session of 2003 commissioned, I'm still an applicant. I can't help wondering what went wrong. Did God change His mind? Wasn't I listening properly?

But on the positive side, If I had gone in in 2003 I would be totally unprepared for the big task ahead of me. I would never have met the characters that I have done. I would have either got married in the middle of training, which would have been even more stressful, or not been married until this year. There's a song in The Salvation Army songbook that says
"I shall not fear though darkened clouds may gather round me;
The God I serve is one who cares and understands.
Although the storms I face would threaten to confound me,
Of this I am assured: I'm in his hands.

I'm in his hands, I'm in his hands;
Whate'er the future holds
I'm in his hands,
The days I cannot see
Have all been planned for me;
His way is best, you see;
I'm in his hands.

2.What though I cannot know the way that lies before me?
I still can trust and freely follow his commands;
My faith is firm since it is he that watches o'er me;
Of this I'm confident: I'm in his hands.

3.In days gone by my Lord has always proved sufficient,
When I have yielded to the law of love's demands;
Why should I doubt that he would evermore be present
To make his will my own? I'm in his hands!"
Stanley E. Ditmer

I think it's one of the most difficult things to do to accept that God knows you better than you know yourself. His timing is perfect. I know all this and yet I still feel a bit down about it all.

The Unexpected

Today I've been thinking about things being different to what you expect them to be like. In Canada, everything I expected to be the same as in UK was different and everything I expected to be different was the same! On my way back from the meeting at the Salvation Army this morning, I was stopped by 2 Jehovah's Witnesses. Now, in my home town, if you see Jehovah's Witnesses, you know that you are going to have a lengthy conversation with them. Especially if you accept their literature, but today, they stopped me, asked me if I'd take one of their leaflets, then walked away! I felt cheated! I wanted a conversation with them about God but they seemed to just want to get away. I hope I don't look that scary in my uniform!

As I was thinking this through, I started thinking about the bible. It seems to be full of the unexpected. The sermon this afternoon was about a woman who had been caught cheating on her husband. The people wanted to stone her, so they asked Jesus what to do. He said "He who is without sin, cast the first stone." I don't think the people expected that!

Time to talk

This week I had an interesting conversation with one of our luncheon club members. He told me something that got me thinking. He said that we shouldn't rely on God to help us all the time. I agreed that sometimes we are the answer to our prayers. The illustration that came to my mind was of a person falling in a pit. In this deep pit was a ladder which you could use to climb out. You pray asking God to help you to get out of the pit, then you turn your head and see this ladder. Do you use it, or do you wait for a divine miracle to help you out?

God works in the ordinary, as well as the extraordinary. About 2 years ago I had an operation on my ear to improve the hearing. The operation was a success, and now I can hear much better. Although the operation was done by a NHS surgeon, I believe that God worked through the surgeon to heal me. God could have chosen to perform an outstanding miracle, but He didn't. He chose to use an ordinary person. I wonder if I've missed any more miracles because they were performed during normal everyday life and routines?

Welcome Back

I have been back at work 2 days now. It's funny, but I've missed our characters! Today I saw them all! They all seemed to be at their best as well. It's been a fun day and had lots to talk to Bram about on our way home.
Yesterday seemed pretty hectic, but maybe I was just suffering a bit from Jet Lag. I seemed to be running around looking after a room booking we had.
It's kind of comforting that things don't change much, although would be good to come back and find that our regular needy people have been gloriously saved and turned their lives around. We should always pray for this because it IS possible!

Home at last

We returned to London this morning at 8.30am GMT. I lost 5 hours on the plane over, and so am exhausted! We hardly have any food in the house, but we are surviving. Mind you, I don't think we'll have much energy to eat after tea today anyway as we're searching for those missing 5 hours. I love holidays, but I hate the washing of clothes after, then the inevitable ironing after that! It's times like this I wished I lived with my Mum!!!!

So thanks Janis for putting up with us for the past 2 weeks, and for being an able tour guide.

London Here We Come

Our holiday is almost over. In a few hours we will be preparing to travel home. Last night we were wondering how we will get home when the plane arrives into Heathrow airport. But more than that, we are still wondering whether our plane will actually leave Halifax airport. They had a fog alert last night, and the machine they use to guide airoplanes through the fog isn't working. The big question is will be allowed to leave Canada? But the next question is what will we find on arrival in London??? We've been kept safe from the bommings because we were on holiday. It doesn't seem fair to me. But I know that God is keeping me safe. I wonder what He's keeping me safe for? Only God knows, and He will reveal it in His time.

End of holiday blogs

Today we are going to Janis' brothers cottage at the shore which has no internet access, so this may be the end of my holiday blogs until we get back to the UK. Has been fun blogging every day. My discipline has got stronger because it's easier to blog every day instead of every other day. Anyway, unless I get to a computer somewhere this week, this is it until Sunday evening.